Orange Monster of Kabuki
by PainX65
Summary: Gintoki was visiting a makeshift grave of his mentor during a snowy day where he encounters a situation similar to when he met Otose.
1. Chapter 1

**Orange Monster of Kabuki**

 _ **Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Gintama**_

Chapter 1

It was a snowy day as one of our main protagonists was walking through the snow. This was Gintoki Sakata or Gin for short, a young man with silvery-blue hair in a natural perm. Bordeaux-coloured dead fish eyes.

Where was our hero going? To the grave of his deceased mentor Shouyou Yoshida, the man that basically raised Gin.

" _Why is it snowing?_ " Gin thought as he walked closer to the grave " _Why does this scene feel familiar?_ "

Gin approached the makeshift grave but Gin noticed something or someone behind the makeshift grave leaning against the grave made out of stone and wood. The grave itself was basically a large rock engraved with the name and a small wooden cross in front of it.

It was a makeshift grave after all.

Gin placed the food down in front as the figure behind the grave started to talk. "Hey… are those manju, old man?" the soft voice asked Gin. The voice was that of a child. "Can I have one?"

Gin had tick mark on his head for being called an old man. "Oi I am not an old man! Besides you have to ask my sensei first! Ask him!"

The child grabbed the manju and started to eat it.

"Oi, if your just gonna eat it what did my sensei say?" Gin asked the child.

"I don't know, the dead don't talk. They also don't eat ramen" the child said.

Gin blinked. " _Wait a minute, this scene, this set-up… IT'S THE SAME WHEN I MEET BAA-SAN_ "

Gin took a closer look at the child. The child was a boy with bright blonde hair and blue eyes and… three whisker marks…

" _WHY IS NARUTO HERE? HE SHOULD BE IN HIS OWN SERIES!_ " Gin thought. Gin pulled out his Jump Manga and flipped through to the Naruto page. "Ah" he said as he figured out the reason why Naruto would be here.

The Naruto manga had ended on its 700th chapter even though there is a sequel to the Naruto manga.

Gin looked at Naruto "Oi brat how long have you been living here?"

"I don't know how long I have been here but it felt like hours maybe a day or so" Naruto answered.

Gin sighed he hoped Otose-baasan wouldn't flip with what he was about to do. "Hey, if you don't have anywhere to go… why don't you come with me?"

"Why would I go with you, a stranger?" Naruto asked the samurai.

"I could teach you Bushido like my sensei taught me, and I guess you'll also have a family as well" Gin said to the whiskered boy.

"A family… that sounds… nice" Naruto looked up at Gintoki. "Who are you mister?"

"Gintoki Sakata now what's yours" Gin said alreading knowing the blonde's name.

"Naruto… Naruto Uzumaki"

"Wrong!"

"Huh"

"I said that name is wrong" Gintoki said.

"How can my name be wrong?" Naruto said back.

"Your name is Naruto Sakata now" Gin said as Naruto's eyes widened. "Or don't you remember me saying that you'll also have a family as well a few lines above"

Naruto finally had a family something that he always dreamed of having and now it was a reality. Gin looked at Naruto as he had some work to do with him first he had to fix his malnutrition.

Gin picked his ear as he looked down at Naruto "Come on Ototo lets go"

"Where?" Naruto asked his new older brother.

"Home" Gin said as they walked to where Naruto will call home.

 _Otose Snack House_

Gin was now in front of Otose Snack House the place he was currently living at and soon to be home for Naruto. Gin walked inside followed by Naruto.

"Hey Baa-san, were home" Gin lazily called out as a woman walked out.

"Gin where is my ren-" Otose stopped her sentence as she saw Naruto. "Gin who is this"

Gin told Naruto to go upstairs to where he was living and now with Naruto out of earshot he could talk to Otose.

"That was Naruto my new little brother"

"YOU BROUGHT ANOTHER FREELOADER HERE! AND YOU JUST MOVED IN NOT THAT LONG AGO!" She shouted at the natural perm samurai.

Gin sighed he had a feeling this was coming. "Baa-san, I met him the same way I met you"

Otose looked at Gin "You mean at a grave, snowing and eating food" Gin nodded. She sighed as took a puff of smoke from a cigarette. "And why bring him here of all places?"

"Because… I felt like it"

"THAT'S NOT A GOOD ANWSER!"

"Baa-san the boy has malnutrition, an orphan, homeless" Gin said "Should I go on?"

"No" She said as she looked Gintoki in the eyes. "And I suppose you're going to look after him?"

"Yeah why not" Gin shrugged "Another me would be helpful"

Otose took another puff. "Well he is your responsibility from now on"

"…He also needs a mother figure" Gin said as he has his hands behind his head.

"What are you getting at?" She asked.

"Eh isn't it obvious, you'll be the mother figure he needs" Gin said. "And I'll be the super amazing brother"

Otose took a minute to think over being a mother figure to the boy Gintoki brought back and claimed as his new little brother. Gin was becoming lazy and in the future he would become even lazier. She could raise him to pay the rent on time and she wanted to raise a child with her husband but sadly he was no longer with them.

She saw Gin as a son with the short time he was here and maybe she would see the kid as another son. She took another puff of the cigarette before putting it out in the ashtray. "I'll be the kid's mother figure" Smoking around kids wasn't a good idea. "So what's the kid's name?"

"Naruto, Naruto Sakata"

"What was his old name?"

"Uzumaki"

"Well you better get to the kid then"

"Yeah yeah" Gin said waving his hand as he left.

Gin walked to where he told Naruto to go, the young blonde was sitting on one of the couches in the room.

"Oi brat" Gin called out to the blue eyed boy. Naruto looked up at his older brother. "We're going to get you some new clothes" He said. " _Can't have him in kill me orange like in the manga, my eyes will hurt just looking at him_ "

Gin looked through some of the closets until he found some suitable clothes. "Here put this on" Gin said as he threw the clothes at Naruto.

Naruto left with the clothes and after changing came back in the room. Gin looked up from his manga to see Naruto.

Naruto was wearing the same outfit as Gin but with opposite colours. White boots, white shirt and pants with blue linings and a black yukata with golden patterns worn sloppily draped over his left shoulder just like Gintoki.

Gin stood up checking Naruto's outfit before walking over to him "Now we have to fix that malnutrition" Gin said poking Naruto's sides. "You must be hungry"

Just then Naruto's stomach grumbled. Gin's dead fish eyes looked at Naruto "Come on I'll introduce you to Otose" He said leading Naruto back into the Snack House. " _And I have to make sure you don't get addicted to ramen, I don't want to be broke forever! I just jinxed myself didn't I_ "

When Naruto meet Otose, Otose swore she was looking at a palette swap Gin but with whisker marks. Otose checked Naruto and made a healthy diet for him to eat that will help with his malnutrition.

Over the few days Gin taught Naruto Bushido from what he learnt from his sensei Shouyou Yoshida, well the parts where he actually listened when he wasn't asleep in class.

He looked over his new brother and he needed a weapon maybe a Bokuto like his Toyako Bokuto, Naruto could have a sword due to the Bakufu's ban on swords. He could order a Bokuto through the same shopping channel he uses to buy a replacement sword for when his own Bokuto breaks.

Gintoki wondered if he could just get a replica for him to use, there was also the option of finding his own sword but that may cause a few problems. Gintoki managed to get Naruto his own Bokuto from the same place Gintoki got his from however his didn't have Lake Toya inscribed on it.

A few more days passed and Gin decided to go into a casino with Naruto. That's when he found out about Naruto's luck in gambling.

Gintoki had money symbols in his eyes at the money Naruto just won. Gin then took Naruto to the casino to win a small fortune and leave so they wouldn't get kicked out and banned from the casino. It was a wonder how Gin smuggled Naruto into the casino due to his age.

With the small fortune Gin had enough money for rent and had enough for his manga and parfait as well as his strawberry milk. Since Naruto was the one to win the money, he gave Naruto his own share.

The days turned to weeks and then to months. Otose was glad that the rent was being paid and eventually Naruto had no signs of malnutrition. In the Kabuki District Naruto was known as Kin or Kintoki due to literally being a palette swapped version of Gintoki.

But with whisker marks.

He was also known as the Orange Monster of Kabuki. You were probably wondering why he was called the Orange Monster of Kabuki if he didn't have any orange on him. It was actually his chakra, since he was from the Elemental Nations he had chakra but didn't know how to use his chakra but it did leak out causing an orange aura around Naruto. Also an orange fox could be seen behind Naruto when he was angry.

As the months passed into a few years Naruto who was a part of the Gin's Yorozuya got a job request involving Naruto.

"What does the job say" Gintoki asked the person who grew to see as an actually little brother.

Naruto blinked at the request before reading it aloud "Plot Convenience"

Gin looked at the note and it did say plot convenience on it. " _What type of bullshit is this!_ " The silver haired samurai thought.

"Plot convenience huh" Naruto said "Is it ever going to tell me or is it something that I'll only know when I return from the job?"

Gin shrugged. He didn't know what the author was thinking.

"Should I take it?"

"Sure if it pays well"

"It says the pay is around 5 billion yen"

"EH IT NEVER SAID HOW MUCH IT WAS GOING TO BE PAID BEFORE WHY SHOW UP NOW! BESIDES THAT'S HALF AS MUCH AS KILLING A MACH 20 OCTOPUS THAT'S TEACHING A CLASS TO KILL HIM!" Gin shouted.

"Maybe I can haggle for more money" Naruto said rubbing his chin.

"That's a good idea and all but we will be fine with your luck"

"Hmm that's true" Naruto said. "But what about the plot how will it progress"

"The author will think of something" Gin said as he went back to reading his manga.

Suddenly a phone started to ring as Naruto picked it up to answer. "Hello? Yeah this is Yorozuya" Naruto said to whoever was on the other side of the phone. Naruto looked other to Gintoki "It's for you"

Gin took the phone. "Moshi moshi? Yes this is the Great Mighty Gin"

" _Please don't sing that song…_ " Naruto thought

"Huh? What do you mean he has to go on the job?" Gin asked "What do you mean we have to progress the story?"

"Looks like I'm going on that job then" Naruto said as he stood up.

"Who is this?" Gin asked "A-a-author-san!" He said in shock, Gin didn't even think that the author would talk to him.

"Okay fine he'll go" Gin said. "How long is it anyway?"

Naruto was ready to go and he grabbed his bokuto, he was pretty much set to go, he didn't need to carry much anyway.

"Eh that long, what type of job is this that the pay is 5 billion yen?" Gin asked "Eh a secret till he comes back and tells us himself? THAT'S A BULLSHIT"

"Whatever the job is its paying good money"

"Fine you win he'll go" Gin them hung up the phone on the author.

"I wouldn't upset the author to much Nii-san"

"What's the worst that can happen" Gin said as Naruto replied.

"You'll be stuck in Kanashibari"

" _T-t-trapped b-by a-a-a g-g-g-ghost!_ " Gin looked horrified.

"Well I'm going now" Naruto said as he started walking away.

"Yeah yeah, I'll see you when you come back"

Naruto then left for the job he was requested for, he would be in for a surprise when he got back.


	2. Chapter 2

**Orange Monster of Kabuki**

 _ **Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Gintama**_

Chapter 2

It been years since Naruto took that long job request and Gin was currently heading back to Yorozuya with the new members of Yorozuya Shinpachi Shimura and Kagura.

Shinpachi has black hair and brown eyes and wears a light blue keikogi with blue linings and a blue hakama and he even wears glasses or were the glasses wearing the body who knew. He was 95% glasses, 3% water and 2% garbage.

Kagura has vermilion red hair and ocean blue eyes, pale white skin and wears a red cheongsam with yellow piping. Her red hair which is tied in two knots to the sides of her head and are covered with ornaments, when outside she's usually seen carrying a purple parasol around which works as protection from the sun. She is also an Amanto of the Yato Tribe.

When they entered Otose Snack House, Otose just smiled.

"Eh Baa-san why are you smiling like that? Are you ill? Sick? What?" Gin asked his landlady. "Why aren't you yelling about the rent? You always yell about the rent"

"Because Gin the rent has already been paid"

"Eh!" The three Yorozuya members shouted.

"How is that possible?" Shinpachi and Kagura asked.

"Gin" Otose had a serious look on her face before another smile appeared "The Orange Monster of Kabuki is coming back"

Gin's eyes widened and he himself had a smile on his face he didn't know about, turns out that the adopted little brother of his wormed his way into his heart.

"Gin-chan your smiling are you sick as well?" Kagura looked up at Gin and asked.

"No Kagura-chan I'm not sick" Gin said

"They why are you happy?"

"Because, my little brother… is coming back"

"Eh Gin you never said that you have a little brother before" Shinpachi and Kagura said in unison.

"Really? Must have slipped my mind"

"Or you forgot about him…" Shinpachi said

"Or you are embarrassed by the fact that you are worried and care about him" Otose said with a smirk.

"Is Gin-chan a brocon?" Kagura asked innocently.

"NO I'M NOT A BROCON! WHERE DID YOU EVEN GET THAT FROM ANYWAY!" Gin shouted at Kagura.

"So when is Gin-san's brother coming?" Shinpachi asked Otose.

"A day or so" Otose said as she started to smoke a cigarette.

Gin had a day or two to look forward to.

 _A Few Days Later_

A figure with two swords was walking down the street as a few people looked at the figure. The figure was that of a young man with bright blonde hair that could be mistaking for a golden colour and two bright azure eyes. Three whiskers marks on each cheek could be seen as well.

This was Naruto Sakata, younger brother of Gintoki Sakata and was known as the Orange Monster of Kabuki.

He had a carefree smile on his face as he was walking to one place he could truly call home.

 _Yorozuya_

Gin was sitting on one of the couches as Kagura was on the other couch they were playing a board game as Shinpachi wasn't there due to his older sister, Tae Shimura was apparently being married.

Both Gin and Kagura stopped talking as they heard a door open and footsteps approaching them.

"Is that Shinpachi?" Kagura asked Gin.

"No that sounds like boots" Gin replied.

"Hello Nii-san" Naruto said as he entered the room "I'm home"

"Welcome home Ototo" Gin said.

Gin looked at Naruto he was wearing the same outfit he wore all those years ago except that he was tailored for his age. What was his age?

"Eh Naruto how old are you right now?" Gin asked

"I'm 17 years old"

"EH BUT HOW DID YOU AGE SO QUICKLY!"

"My age wasn't told or explained in the last chapter"

"That is true" Gin said "So what was your 5 billion job?"

"Jobs actually"

"Eh?"

"Turns out that the one job was actually a bunch of jobs"

"That sounds like the author making excuses for the payment of one job being way too high"

Naruto shrugged "Maybe... anyway one of the jobs was guarding the shogun, Shige Shige Tokugawa"

"You were a bodyguard for the shogun!"

"Yeah pretty much"

"DON'T JUST DISMISS IT SO CASUALLY!" Gintoki shouted. Gintoki looked down to see Naruto's bokuto along with another sword.

"Ano what's with the sword?" Gin asked as he looked at the sword. The sheathe was black with an orange eastern coiling around the sheathe from top to bottom with the dragon's head near the katana's handle.

"Oh this?" Naruto said as he drew the katana, the handle was black with orange diamond pattern. The guard was a circle but had a picture of a fox on it. The blade was a surprising orange colour.

"Eh Naruto why is the sword orange" Gin said looking at the sword as Naruto put the sword back.

"It was a gift from Shige for being his bodyguard" He said.

"But you'll know you'll get arrested for carrying that right?" Gin asked.

"Nah its fine" Naruto waved him off "I have a permit"

"A permit?"

"More like a badge I guess" Naruto said as he brought out an emblem. "The royal crest of the Tokugawa family given to bodyguards or special individuals"

"So you can freely use a sword?" Gin asked as Naruto nodded "Then why is the sword orange?"

"Turns out Shige found out about my title of the Orange Monster of Kabuki"

"Can you please stop saying the title of the story out loud!"

"I can't help it if it is my title"

"What are you going to use two swords for anyway?"

"Well since I have two swords I'm going to have one for humans, my bokuto and the other for monsters, my katana" Naruto said

"Next you're going tell me you added 'of Rivia' to the end of your name and going to have a bunch or romance cards"

"Then I'm going to get a third sword and then I'm going to a badass bounty hunter"

"And where are you going to hold that third sword?"

"In my mouth of course"

"THERE IS ALREADY A BOUNTY HUNTER WITH THREE SWORDS!"

"So who is this Nii-san?" Naruto asked looking at Kagura.

"This is Kagura-chan, Ototo"

"Nice to meet you Neko-kun" Kagura said holding out her hand.

"Nice to meet you to, Kagura-chan" Naruto said shaking her hand ignoring being called Neko.

"Well I'm going to meet Baa-san" Naruto said walking down to Otose Snack House.

"Hello Baa-san!" Naruto said to Otose making her smile.

"Welcome home Naruto-chan" Otose said as she looked at one of the few she saw as a son. "I must admit that you'll aged well how old are you now?"

"17 years old"

"You looked so much younger all those years ago"

"I know Nii-san said the same thing"

Just then Gintoki and Kagura came down stairs.

"How did you age so fast and how old were you when you were here?"

Naruto then told her the same thing he told Gin. "But on another job"

"Eh why are you telling her first without us back upstairs!"

"It's called keeping the readers guessing of what my jobs were until I actually talk about them or something from that job comes up!"

"Well what was this second job?" Otose asked

"Well this old man said I had a pure heart, and when I mean old I mean really old. There were so many wrinkles on him, anyway he said he saw my potential and decided to train me" Naruto said. "Now that I think about it he was kind of sick"

"Sick?" Gin asked.

"He was so sick his skin was green!" Naruto said "Also I think he was a devil he had horns, but the horns were kind of sloppy. He reminded me of a slug… kept calling himself god though" Naruto said as he went into a thinking look with his eyes closed.

"Ah Gin-chan look he looks like a fox!" Kagura said in her usual happy tone.

"He trained me in a room. It was very barren also white too"

"YOU WERE TRAINED THERE!" Gintoki shouted as he shook his little brother.

" _He probably has the strength of Kagura-chan… maybe_ " Gin thought.

"So what did I miss?" Naruto asked and he was filled in by Otose.

 _Yagyu Family_

At the Yagyu Family Dojo two figures burst in through the gate one of them was Shinpachi and the other was Gorilla I mean Isao Kondo, no wait I was right the first time, Gorilla.

As they burst through four figures dropped behind them. They were Gintoki, Kagura along with Sougo Okita and Toushirou Hijikata.

"Why didn't we get appearance overview?!" Kondo, shit I meant to say Gorilla shouted.

"Maybe because the author is too lazy to write your appearances then" Gintoki said.

"But other stories get their characters detailed appearance!" Gorilla shouted once again.

"It's not my problem is it then!" Gin shouted back at the gorilla. "If you don't like it maybe you should search yourself or maybe he'll pity you and give you your detailed appearance later in this story or another chapter!"

"Well its better than getting two detailed appearances for the same character due to the author's forgetfulness" Sougo said.

 _Inside Yagyu Family Building_

"Eh were just going to a different location already! WE JUST GOT HERE!" Gin shouted as the story went to a completely different location.

Kyubei Yagyu the sole heiress to the Yagyu family name was raised as a male. She dresses as a man, has black hair in a ponytail and dark-brown eyes with an eyepatch covering her left eye. Right now Kyubei was talking with her father before leaving just as our five heroes sorry, four heroes and a gorilla were taking out the guards trying to get to Tae.

Just then a figure used a very powerful technique on one of the guards. "Goomba Stomp" The figure landed onto the guard's head as the guard's face collided with the ground creating a crater where the guard's face landed.

He might be died.

Nah.

"…"

"…"

"…"

"WHAT KIND OF TECHNIQUE WAS THAT!" Gintoki shouted.

Toushirou, Sougo, the gorilla were on guard and even Shinpachi. "Who are you?" Toshirou asked as his hand was on his katana's handle.

"I'm Naruto Sakata" The figure said.

"Sorry I thought you said that your last name was the same as the silver haired idiot" Toushirou said.

"I did say that, I am his younger brother after all"

"YOU HAVE A YOUNGER BROTHER!" The two Shinsengumi members Toushirou and Gorilla shouted as Sougo just looked on.

Gin sighed he was going to do this a lot wasn't he. "Yes he is my younger brother"

Sougo looked at Naruto's katana he shouldn't have a sword due to the Bakufu ban. "Why do you have a sword?"

Naruto looked at Sougo before pulled out the emblem. Toushirou's eyes widened as did Gorilla's eyes, he was holding the royal Tokugawa crest only given to certain individuals to freely use a sword.

Naruto putting the crest away jumped of the corpse of the guy who was still alive.

Seriously.

No I'm not lying.

The group of seven entered a room as they watched Kagura throw Sougo across the room. Toushirou however gave a quick glance to Naruto " _Great another Gintoki and one was enough NO one is bad already!_ " Toushirou thought.

"Ah so you finally showed up the dojo challengers. You think with the seven of you can beat us? Such audacity" Ayumu Toujou said. "Since you dared to challenge us the top four of Yagyu do not expect to leave her alive"

"You guys are just filthy trash you can't just go in and see… the…mast…er" Sui Minamito said as he watched Naruto heading straight to their master. "DIDN'T YOU HEAR ME I SAID YOU CAN'T JUST GO IN AND SEE THE MASTER!"

"Oh sorry" Naruto said as he started to take off his boots.

"THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT!" Sui shouted. "Throw away your weapons" Gin, Kagura, Toushirou and Gorilla threw their weapons straight at Sui.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!"

"You told us to throw it away" Gin said.

Itsuki Kitaooji grabbed his katana "Tonjou-dono let me get rid of them"

"That's enough" A voice called out. "They are friends of my wife, don't be so rude" the male said who was infact Kyubei.

"Lesbian huh?" Naruto said as he was right behind Kyubei.

Kyubei turned around to see Naruto standing there picking his ear with his finger. " _How did he get behind me so fast without me noticing?_ " Kyubei thought.

Kyubei then turned to the other six and then they basically challenged Kyubei to a fight.

"A fight? Hehe my Yagyu technique versus your country run-down dojo's style? Please, we already know who'd win that" Kyubei said

Gin and Naruto shared the same smile "Of course we have to fight" The brothers said in unison.

"Even though we hate each other and want the next guy dead in our koudoukan dojo and barely know each other but with fights we are very knowledgeable"

"Let me explain the rules" Kyubei said as she explained the 7-on-7 battle with the plates. "Whoever gets the other team's leader's head wins"

"Sounds easy enough" Naruto said. "And I'm guessing you're the leader?" Kyubei nodded.

"Wait a minute you said 7-on-7 but there is only five here you lairs!" Kagura said pointing at them.

"The other two are already hiding somewhere" Kyubei said.

Gintoki went to ask but was cut off by Ayumu "Besides we 5 alone will take care of all of you" Ayumu said confidently "So there's no need to tell who our team leader is anyway"

"WHAT DID YOU SAY BASTARD!" Gin, Naruto, Kagura and the Gorilla shouted.

TheYorozuya and Shinsengumi members sat around a tree with a really pissed Gorilla. Naruto put on the plate as Sougo and Gin placed two plates over Toushirou's eyes.

The group decided to go off in pairs, Sougo and Gin already started to walk off as Toushirou and Kagura went in another direction. Shinpachi and the Gorilla were probably together as Naruto left the group.

Kagura met with Tsukamu Nishino and his partners Sui and Itsuki. As Kagura was sent into the air Sui went in for the attack but Sui was attacked from behind from Sougo.

Tsukamu saw Sui hit the ground he was attacked from behind by Toushirou who was wearing a big plate. Toshirou, Sougo and Kagura were on one side while Tsukamu, Itsuki and Sui were on the other.

Tsukamu threw a boulder that blocked off Kagura. "Get out of my way" Kagura said as the boulder landed on Tsukamu. Toshirou was fighting off against Itsuki and Sougo was off against Sui.

Sougo swung his bokuto kicking Sui off his feet before hitting him a bunch of times on the way down. Sougo picked up Sui by the hair and was about to end it when Kagura slammed into the back of his head.

Kagura injured her arm and as Sougo had a look at it. "If we make it go the other way it should be okay"

"I don't think that's a good idea" Tsukamu said as a crack from Kagura's arm could be heard. Kagura then kicked Sougo's leg and broke it.

Tsukamu then followed the two into a building as they tried to get away. Kagura ran into a room with Sougo crawling right behind her. Tsukamu turned around to see Sougo on Kagura's shoudlers. Tsukamu charged in with his bokuto.

"I don't have time for this" He said using his bokuto like he was fencing hitting Sougo's face but not the plate itself. Tsukamu went for a swing but his bokuto was stuck in the roof.

"Attack!" Sougo said as Kagura darted forward but Sougo hit the roof destroying his plate and knocking him out.

"Look who is stupid now!" Tuskamu said .

Kagura grabbed Sougo's leg and swung him into Tsukamu. "TAKE THAT!"

Shinpachi and the Gorilla walked in to see Tsukamu and Sougo up against a wall. Shinpachi picked up a phone to see Kagura over the two bodies victoriously.

Shinpachi and Gorilla opened a sliding door to see Toushirou and Itsuki… eating.

"Sorry for interrupting your meal" Shinpachi apologized.

"Wrong room, please excuse us" Gorilla also apologized.

The door shut before opening up again.

"WAIT A MINUTE!" They both yelled.

Apparently their fight already began as they started to eat the food. Itsuki was having fried rice with tomato sauce while Toushirou was putting a lot of mayonnaise on his fried rice.

After they ate their meal, their blades clashed with another. Itsuki threw a plate at Toushirou calling it an ashtray and they ended up outside.

"You're much sharper and quicker than I expected" Itsuki said.

Toushirou swung as Itsuki jumped however Itsuki landed where he jumped. "You rely on your intuition too much"

Itsuki hit Toushirou over towards the river as Shinpachi and Gorilla watched. Itsuki and Toushirou ran to the bridge and locked blades. Itsuki jumped and when he came back down hit Toushirou into the air.

Toushirou landed into the water as Itsuki started to monologue. Toushirou jumped from under the bridge and landed a strike on Itsuki leaving a tear on his shoulder.

"Still want to fight?" Itsuki asked.

"One of two points don't mean crap to me" Toushirou said placing a cigarette in his mouth. "Even if you get an arm or take a leg. Fighting as long your head's still attached is what fighting with real swords is all about"

"That's why I hate uncivilized country sword styles"

"Oh and I forgot to tell you I borrowed an ashtray since I just can't get in the mood if I don't smoke" Toushirou said pulling out a plate.

Itsuki looked down to see his own plate had been taken. " _My plate_ " Itsuki jumped into the air "You bastard when did you" Itsuki stopped as he looked down to see his plate as he remember the plate Toshirou was holding was the one he threw.

Itsuki turned around and got hit straight into the water. "Come on I'll show you a real fight" Toushirou said as Itsuki rose from the water.

Itsuki retied his plate around him and picked up his glasses. Itsuki and Toushirou's blades clashed and both were standing in the water. Itsuki dashed forward but got slammed into the ground.

Toushirou was now on the offensive as Itsuki was blocking each blow. They both went for a strike at the same time but Toushirou's bokuto broke through Itsuki's and destroyed his plate.

"Hijikata-san!" Shinpachi said.

"Sorry for the wait" Toushirou replied.

 _Elsewhere_

Sui fell to the ground as Ayumu was standing behind him facing away. "Even if we have someone like you around it would just bring disgrace to the Yagyu name" Ayumu said. "Anyone that would disgrace the young master's name whoever they might be. I the head of the Yagyuu's Four Devas, Ayumu Toujou will not forgive them"

"Wait Ayumu, I'm coming to" Kyubei said "I had originally thought they were some ragtag team of hoodlums but it appears as though they have considerable skill, they caught my interest"

"Even if the young master doesn't head out personally I alone shall eliminate all five of the enemies"

"I'm saying that I want to go don't concern yourself with me"

"But should you be injured young master I shall have to commit harakiri"

"So you think I'll be beaten by those goons do you?"

"Of course not" Ayumu said both unaware of the hidden presence with glowing red eyes.

As the two walked down a path Ayumu slammed Kyubei into the ground to avoid bird shit and started chasing the crow.

Meanwhile in the toilets was Gintoki, Gorilla, a short old man and now Ayumu. Ayumu and Gorilla both had a one strike to finish the fight but the gorilla lost.

Kyubei had defeated Toushirou and Gintoki was fighting Kyubei's grandfather in the forest.

Naruto however was fighting a different opponent.

"COME BACK HERE COWARD" Naruto shouted as his opponent was running away.

"No! I don't want to die!" The last member for the 7-on-7 fight was a… random member.

Apparently with Naruto showing up they didn't have enough skilled members so they took a grunt. This grunt saw what Naruto did to another guard being crushed via his Goomba Stomp Technique.

They chose this grunt because… he was the fastest in running away.

"IF YOU DON'T COME BACK I JUST MIGHT!" Naruto shouted as he was following the running man.

Naruto stopped to catch some air as he saw the grunt attack from the side. "Ha you fool!" The grunt said. "My goal was to make it so you'll run out of stamina so I can finish you off quickly"

The grunt's bokuto swung to hit Naruto but suddenly the attack was blocked. "Huh" The grunt said.

"Nice try but… I have way too much stamina to give up so quickly" Naruto said with a red glow in his eyes. "I am a bit pissed off for losing sight of Kyubei so… you'll just have to do"

The grunt looked at Naruto in fear, the grunt tried moving but his feet were stuck to the ground. The grunt saw the bokuto slam into him smashing his plate sending him back.

Naruto looked down at the grunt who started to get up "Not so fast" the grunt paled. "I'm not done with you yet"

All that could be heard for miles was the screams of a single grunt from a pissed of blonde.

Back with all the others were fighting guards that were about interrupt the fight when they all stopped.

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!" A scream could be heard as everyone stopped.

Gin took this opportunity to smash Binkokusai's plate.

"What was that" One of the guards said.

Binkokusai looked down to see his plate had been destroyed.

"My my seems like someone got him mad" Gintoki said as he grabbed Shinpachi's shoulder and looked at Kyubei. "You better be ready Kyubei"

Just then everyone saw a body get tossed onto the ground and two glowing eyes were seen as Naruto walked out.

"Because my little brother is very angry"

"Gin has a little brother?" Tae asked as Kagura nodded.

"Ototo!" Gintoki said.

"Yeah Nii-san!" Naruto said as he walked over.

"I want to see how far you came while you were gone" Gin said "Take down Kyubei over there" Naruto nodded and walked over towards Kyubei.

"Come on Nine Tails" Naruto taunted with his hand.

"It's Kyubei not Kyubi, my name has a E in it!" Kyubei shouted at him.

"Well I'm going to call you Foxy" Naruto said before thinking "No wait Vixen"

Kyubei just seemed to glare at him for the nickname but he did notice a lightly something on her face at the word Vixen. "Okay then Kurama" Naruto said with a smirk.

"You don't who you're up against" Kyubei said getting ready to fight the whiskered blonde.

"Funny I was about to say the same thing"

Kyubei got her bokuto ready as they stared off.

"You gonna move… Kyu-chan"

Kyubei's eyes widened as she darted forward other she seemed to freeze as he drew his real sword out of the sheathe a little bit showing the orange steel. An orange aura surrounded Naruto as Kyubei's father, Koshinori's eyes widened.

"My Kyubei-chan you are very cocky. Let me show you a true monster" The orange aura kept growing and they saw a giant fox appear behind Naruto.

"Orange aura, orange blade sword, whisker marks" Koshinori checked off "That's the Orange Monster of Kabuki, Naruto Sakata" Koshinori then looked at Gin "T-then t-that's the White Devil Gintoki Sakata"

Naruto then grabbed his bokuto and dashed forward as Kyubei still a bit shocked but then when in towards Naruto.

Kyubei swung her bokuto but when she swung Naruto wasn't there. "Looking for me?" He called out. Kyubei turned to see Naruto on her bokuto!

Naruto swung his own sending her to the side. Naruto jumped up into the air scaring a few of the guards as he might do another Goomba Stomp.

"Goomba Stomp" Naruto said clearly to the guards as he came down. Kyubei dodged to the side as he landed creating another crater.

"That boy is good but Kyubei will win" Binkokusai said. "She has mastered the Yagyu Ryu Style"

"I highly doubt that" Gin said as the old man and Tae looked at Gin who had a smile on his face which was something not usually seen on his face. "Naruto is a skilled swordsman and I don't doubt Kyubei's skill, stamina wise Naruto can and will fight for days without rest"

Tae was surprised that he had that much stamina. Gintoki watched the fight and then they noticed a smile on Naruto' face. "Why is he smiling Gin-chan"

"Because they are having a conversation right now"

"Huh?"

"What he means is that they are speaking from physical blows" Isao said "The saying actions speak louder than words could be used to describe this"

"Wow Kondo-san you said something pretty smart" Shinpachi said.

"Huh I did didn't I. I even got my name back" Gorilla said. "Damn it"

Naruto swung his bokuto for a side swing and Kyubei went to block it. Kyubei's eyes widened as the swing was never coming but a direct jab from handle of the bokuto. Kyubei couldn't move fast enough as the bokuto smashed the plate she was wearing.

"I lost" Kyubei said as she dropped bokuto and fell back only to be caught by Naruto who smiled at her.

"Your pretty strong Kyu-chan" Naruto said "When I was protecting Shige-san I never fought anyone strong as you before well except for one but your very strong, cute to" He didn't see a small blush on Kyubei's face.

Kyubei was on the ground looking at the sky as Naruto then sat down next to her and Tae walked started to walk over. "You know Kyu" Kyubei looked over to Naruto. "It's okay to cry" Kyubei's eyes widened at what her opponent was saying.

"Like I said you're a strong girl and you do have a kind heart behind that cold exterior" he said "But there is something you should know… continue who you are not what you are trying to be copying someone is not the way to go, be your own person"

Naruto gave her a kind smile "Something I keep close to my heart. 'People truly become strong when they have something precious to protect' I believe one can become strong with something or someone" Naruto looked over to Tae who sat down on Kyubei's other side.

"I'll see you later Kyubei, no Kyu-chan" Naruto stood and walked away but not before whispering something into her ear.

"How did I do Nii-san?" Naruto asked his brother.

"You did good at least your stronger than the mayo eating freak" Gintoki said "But not as strong as me"

"Yeah yeah" Naruto said waving him off as they both left with the Yorozuya.

Kyubei watched as Naruto walked away after her touching scene with Tae. "What did he say to Kyu-chan"

Kyubei placed a hand over her left eye and mumbled something.

"What was that Kyu-chan I couldn't hear you" Tae said.

"He said that… my eye" She started Kyubei which Tae looked on. "He was willingly to give me his left eye"

Tae blinked she knew he was Gin's brother only moments ago and was already offering Kyubei his eye even though she was his enemy earlier?

Tae looked at Kyubei before a teasing smile appeared on face when she saw Kyubei's face. "Feeling hot Kyu-chan" Kyubei nodded.

"Can't stop thinking about what was his name" Tae said faking that she forget his name.

"Naruto" Kyubei answered pretty quickly.

"Already remembering his name Kyu-chan" Tae teased as Kyubei turned to Tae.

"What are you talking about Tae-chan" She said.

"What I'm trying to say Kyu-chan is that you have a crush" Tae said "Or in love"

"T-T-Tae-chan what are you saying" Kyubei stuttered with a red face.

"Love at first combat" Tae teased the red faced Kyubei.

Kyubei found the ground more interesting she didn't know what to do about these feelings for the blonde she just met. Just thinking about him got her heart racing. Tae just looked at her friend and smiled she hoped Naruto would be able to make Kyu-chan happy and act more of a girl.

She smiled knowing it would work out fine between the two.


	3. Chapter 3

**Orange Monster of Kabuki**

 _ **Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Gintama**_

Chapter 3

After the events of the Yagyu Arc I mean incident Naruto decided to walk around the Kabuki District since he was gone for so long.

Walking down the path he noticed a somewhat old man sitting on the ground right in front of him. The old man wasn't old enough to pass as a regular old man in manga but a man who was a few years away from becoming an elder.

The old man was holding a sitar. The old man looked up to Naruto. "Ah hello youngster care to hear a tune or two?" He asked.

Naruto turned around and headed the other way.

"W-wait! Please stop!"

Naruto kept walking.

"I'll….I'll pay you for listening to my song!"

Naruto turned around and started to walk back. Only to turn around again as money was no problem for him.

"Okay okay! I'll give you whatever you want!" The old man said as Naruto stopped. "I'll pay you money AND give you whatever you want"

Naruto was now in front of the old man. "What's your name old man?" Naruto asked the sitar player.

"Hohohoho my name is Q-1 and I am" The old man stood up holding his sitar in the air. "The legendary Sitaroo Man!" Lightning then struck the old man violently shocking him.

Naruto just stared at the fried old man as he coughed. The old man now was wearing a hat with small wings sticking out of the side.

Q-1 started to play his sitar causing Naruto to hold his ears. " _How can someone be so bad! I-I think my ears are bleeding_ "

Q-1 looked up to see Naruto "Thank you for listening" Somehow he did register that Naruto's face suggest that he was listening to torture.

"Okay old man where's my reward for this quest" Naruto said holding out his hand and the old man just looked down.

"I'm sorry but I have nothing to give you" He said.

"I listened to THAT FOR NOTHING!" Naruto shouted. Naruto then pointed at the Sitaroo "Then give me that then!"

"I'm sorry but this I cannot give to you" Q-1 said.

Suddenly a giant bee wearing a human costume appeared from behind a potted plant somehow. "I finally found you Sitaroo Man!"

"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT THING!" Naruto shouted. "AND WHY IS IT WEARING A HUMAN COSTUME"

Q-1's eyes narrowed. "That is Solo Polo Queen Dee" He said. "She is a loyal follower of Lord Yowie"

"Lord Yaoi? What kind of name is that for a villain!" Naruto shouted.

"Not Yaoi, Yowie"

"They sound way too similar!"

"Prepare yourself Sitaroo Man!" Solo Polo Queen Dee said as she ready her own instrument. Seriously what kind of name was Solo Polo anyway?

The instrument of Solo Polo Queen Dee… man that will become annoying quickly I'll bet you… for me at least since I have to type it… Wait why am I even breaking the story flow to talk to you... the instrument of her choice was a… triangle.

Naruto just had a deadpan stare as he looked at Q-1 and then to the Solo Polo Queen Dee which will be shortened to Dee now and then.

"A… triangle…" Naruto said.

"Don't underestimate the power of my triangle" Dee said "I've been to many triangle lessons to increase my power level"

"WHO THE HELL GOES TO TRIANGLE LESSONS!" Naruto shouted.

Q-1 raised his Sitar and Dee raised her triangle. That's when shit went down. Naruto grabbed his ears as the bad sitar player and the constant ringing and dining of the triangle was driving Naruto crazy as he wished the torture to stop.

"Seems I have the advantage Sitaroo Man" Dee said as she continued 'playing' the triangle.

"I will never fall to you or Lord Yowie!" Sitaroo Man loudly declared continuing to make annoying noises.

"Please let this be a short chapter, please let this be a short chapter, please let this be a short chapter" Naruto said repeating his own mantra. "Why didn't I go with Nii-san when they went out to do whatever they are doing right now?" He asked himself "Oh yeah because I just came back home and wanted to look around and maybe get the latest Jump"

Naruto regretted this poor decision.

Q-1 or Sitaroo Man was panting from the battle as well as Dee and started another round of random noises.

"THERE IS NO RYTHME IN THIS!" Naruto shouted.

"Ohhh" Q-1 moaned.

"Old man what's wrong?" Naruto said as he watched the old man on the ground.

"I…I…" Q-1 tried to say the words.

"Come on old man" Naruto encouraged.

"I…think I threw out my back"

"Eh that's it?"

"Here carry one my legacy as the next Sitaroo Man"

"NO WAY IN HELL I'M GOING TO CONTINUE THIS LEGACY! I RATHER DIE!"

"So you're the new Sitaroo Man" Dee said as she looked at Naruto.

"HELL NO I'M NOT!"

"Give me the Sitaroo or suffer the consequences" Dee said.

Naruto picked up the Sitaroo, his hair shadowing his eyes "Old man" He said holding the Sitaroo. "SCREW YOUR LEGACY!" He threw the Sitar at the bee in a human costume hitting the bee to the ground.

"You did well my apprentice"

"SINCE WHEN WAS I YOUR GOD DAMN APPRENTICE OLD BASTARD!"

"We must go" Q-1 said "Others will surely turn up"

"You might have defeated Solo Polo Queen Dee…" One voice said.

"…but you are no match for us" Another voice finished.

"It's you two" Q-1 said recognizing both figures on the roof, they were both males and younger than Q-1.

"Oh go not more weirdos" Naruto looked up to sky "WHAT HAVE I DONE TO DESERVE THIS PUNISHMENT!" He shouted at the sky.

"I'm glad you asked, the one on the left is my younger brother Q-2 and the one of the right is my cousin U-2" Q-1 said.

"I NEVER ASKED THAT YOU SENILE OLD MAN! BESIDES HE IS WAY TO YOUNG TO BE YOUR BROTHER! HE IS MORE LIKE YOUR GRANDSON!" Naruto shouted "AND THE ONE YOU SAID WAS YOUR COUSIN IS MORE LIKE YOUR COUSIN ONE OR TWICE REMOVED OR SOMETHING CLOSE!"

"They betrayed our family by joining forces with Lord Yowie on Planet Sitaroo" Q-1 said.

Naruto looked at Q-1. "WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT!" He shouted at the Sitar player. "That will mean that… I… no. No. No. No no no, I refuse, No! HELL NO!"

Q-2 and U-2 pulled out their instruments. Q-2 pulled out bagpipes while U-2 pulled out a cowbell.

"Be careful young Naruto" Q-1 said.

"I NEVER TOLD YOU MY NAME HOW DO YOU KNOW IT!"

"They are two of the strongest followers of Lord Yowie"

Q-2 started to play the bagpipes and U-2 started to 'play' the cowbell. They both were bad.

" _Now I know why these 'warriors' are considered the strongest_ " Naruto thought " _Because they are so bad at playing music!_ " Q-2 and U-2 were still 'playing' 'music'. " _Is planet Sitaroo filled with people who are bad at music?_ "

Naruto having enough ear torture went over to Q-2 and U-2.

"You came to surrender before our might?" Q-2 asked arrogantly.

Naruto raised the sitar and whacked the side of Q-2's head.

U-2 looked at Sitaroo Man "You have trained your pupil will cousin" He then looked at Naruto "But now I must avenge my partner!"

U-2 then started whacking the cowbell faster and louder. "I GOT A FEVER" He shouted "AND THE ONLY PRESCRIPTION IS MORE COWBELL!" He shouted as Naruto raised the sitar and did the same thing he did to the bagpipe player.

"I'm so sorry my brethren, I will avenge you" Q-1 said.

"Avenge them? They were the enemy!"

"I will free you from the mind control"

"You said they were doing this out of their free will!"

"Come now we must go to planet Sitaroo" Q-1 said as he was in a small space shuttle.

"Like I said before…. No, no, no no no! Hell no! I refuse! NO!"

"Let's go my planet needs you"

 _Planet Sitaroo_

"…How did I even get here" Naruto said he remember running away from the space shuttle and here he was on planet Sitaroo.

"We are here the palace were Lord Yowie resides" Q-1 said.

"Finally it's almost over" Naruto said as he looked a little pleased.

"Not so fast Sitaroo Man" Yet another voiced called out.

"GOD DAMN IT!" Naruto shouted "I hate random encounters"

The person who called out was actually a Tyrannosaurus Rex!

"Oh no" Q-1 said "We are screwed! If he is here than that means you are too powerful my liege"

"So I'm your liege now, you really are senile"

"Besides Lord Yowie, he is the strongest he is the right hand man of Lord Yowie, Lilliputian!"

"BULLSHIT HE IS NOT A MAN HE IS A GOD DAMN T-REX AND HE IS GIGANTIC NOT WHAT HIS NAME IMPILES!" Naruto shouted.

"I challenge you Naruto!" Lilliputian said.

"HOW DO YOU NOW MY NAME!"

Lilliputian pulled out an accordion from somewhere, where did he get that anyway.

Lilliputian started to play the accordion and Naruto's jaw dropped. He was actually pretty good. It was amazing how he was playing the accordion.

"He. Is. Amazing!" Naruto said.

"Ah t-thank y-you" Lilliputian said.

"WHY ARE YOU SHY NOW!"

"N-No one has e-ever said t-that my playing was g-good" The T-Rex said.

"It wasn't even good" Q-1 said but suddenly whacked by Naruto with the Sitar.

"ALL OF YOU WERE SHIT EXCEPT FOR LILY!" Naruto shouted as he looked at Lily "WHY ARE YOU BLUSHING!"

"No one has ever given me a nickname before" He said.

The palace doors opened inviting them in.

"Why did that open?" Naruto asked as Lily shook his head, he didn't know either.

They both went in as Q-1 tried to keep up with them.

"I see you have defeated Lilliputian" The man said.

"Lord Yowie!" Lily and Q-1 said in shock.

"But I didn't even defeat him you just opened the doors" Naruto said as he looked a Yowie.

Yowie was just like his name, he was a Yowie. A mythical hominid reputed to live in Australian wilderness.

"So we finally meet Lord Yaoi"

"IT'S YOWIE NOT YAOI!"

Yowie pulled out his instrument a didgeridoo. When Yowie started to play it, he was quite good with the didgeridoo. Naruto held up the sitar as Yowie continued playing the didgeridoo.

Naruto had a bead of sweat roll down his face the slightest mistake would meant that he lost. So he started whacking Yowie with the sitar.

After whacking him with the sitar the Yowie named Yowie stood up. Yowie got onto his knees and bowed "I'M SORRY FOR BEING A BAD RULER I HAVE SEEN THE ERRORS OF MY WAYS!"

Yowie then pulled out a crown and gave it to Lily. "Lilliputian I hereby declared you the new king of planet Sitaroo"

The T-Rex now had a small crown on his head as people started cheering. Wait what?

Turns out that Solo Polo Queen Dee, Q-2 and U-2 managed to get here somehow. "You saved us Naruto-sama" They all said cheering.

"Naruto Sakata" Lily said. "Thanks to you our old king has seen the errors of his way, we of planet Sitaroo will be behind you and when you need help we will be there, Orange Monster of Kabuki"

Naruto gave the sitar back to Q-1. "Why are you giving this back to be? You are Sitaroo Man now"

"NO!" Naruto shouted quickly. "I mean no I'm not Sitaroo Man, the only Sitaroo Man I see is the one in front of me" Q-1 had tears in his eyes and hugged Naruto. "You are the kindest man I ever meet" He sobbed.

"Oh yeah before I leave you said there was a reward old man"

"Ah yes, here you go" Q-1 gave Naruto a box and Naruto opened it to see a beautiful necklace.

Naruto's eyes widened. "I..I..I can't take this"

"Please take it as a gift to remember all of us by" Q-1 said as the rest nodded. "Besides you can give it to the woman you like"

Naruto then pocketed the box. "Maybe I will"

Naruto was about to head about to Kabuki as the people he met where there. King Lily looked at Naruto.

"We will be in touch, Naruto" Lily said.

"Thanks Lil" He said to see Lily blushing again.

"N-n-no one has e-e-every gave me t-two nicknames before" Lil stuttered and blushed as Naruto sweat dropped.

Naruto waved at them and they waved back and with a flash he was gone.

 _Otose Snack House_

Gintoki looked up to see Naruto walk through the door. "Well how was your day" He said as he went back to his Jump.

"I don't want to talk about it" Naruto said.

"Why is that Neko-kun?" Kagura asked.

"Oh you know just seeing the town after so many years only to be roped into a short adventure to another planet and becoming their hero" Naruto said as he summarized the story.

Gin blinked "Eh care to say that again" Naruto ignored him and started to go to sleep, he was mentally exhausted. "Oi don't go to sleep!"

Naruto looked at the necklace before hiding it away and falling asleep. A small smile could be seen maybe Sitaroo wasn't a bad place after all.


	4. Chapter 4

**Orange Monster of Kabuki**

 _ **Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Gintama**_

Chapter 4

A Delicious Sugary Cycle of Life Brings the Whole World Together.

Gin had a large smirk on his face as he look down at his younger brother. In Gintoki's hands was a camera. " _Kukukuku Naruto-kunI will finally have my perfect… BLACKMAIL MATERIAL!_ " Gin inwardly laughed.

Gin raised the camera and took multiple photos of his younger brother when a voice called out. "Gin-chan" The drowsy voice of Kagura said as she was waking up.

" _Shit_ " Gintoki thought as he saw Kagura waking up, he had to leave now. Why was he worried? Well that's because you have to see what Gin was seeing.

On one of the couches was a sleeping Naruto and on his chest was a sleeping Kagura, who was waking up right now. Gin stumbled onto this scene when he woke up and instantly thought of blackmail.

"Gin-chan why do you have a camera" Kagura sat up to see a sweating Gin holding said camera. She then looked down to see Naruto. She then made the realization. "Gin-chan… you didn't take any photos did you?" She asked innocently.

Gin looked at Kagura straight in her eyes. "No reason, just one of Naruto's souvenirs" He said with a straight face as Kagura just looked at him.

"LIAR!" She yelled uppercutting Gin into the roof.

Gin luckily pulled his head from the roof. "Kagura-chan why were you sleeping on Naruto?" He asked.

"Since he was whiskers I thought he might purr!" She said happily.

"But why during the night?"

"To see if it wasn't faked"

Gin looked at Kagura for a while. "Did he?"

"Did he what?"

"PURR! DID HE PURR!"

Kagura smiled before it fell. "I don't know I fell asleep" She said looking a little sad.

"Ah why don't you rub them now?" Gintoki said with his hands behind his back.

"Ah that's a good idea Gin-chan!" Kagura said as Gin shifted over towards the door.

"What's a good idea?" A voice asked.

"Rubbing your whiskers while you're asleep of course"

"Ah" The voice said already dressed in the opposite colours that Gin was wearing.

Kagura looked down as she realized that he was awake. "Hey Kagura-chan if you want you can rub them now"

"Really?" She asked.

"Really" Naruto said. "But be careful, they are very sensitive" Kagura placed her hand on Naruto's cheek and rubbed it. She saw Naruto's lips quavered trying not to purr but after a while… he purred.

Just out of the door Gintoki was still taking blackmail photos but now wondered if he could blackmail Kagura. As he watched Kagura rub Naruto's cheek, Naruto head was laying on her lap like a dog or a cat getting a good pat or a scratch behind the ears.

Naruto was experiencing bliss.

Gin smirked at his blackmail as he heard a voice behind him. "Gin-san why are you peeking through the door?"

Gin jumped a little before turning around to see Shinpachi. "Shinpachi! When did you get here?" Gin asked.

"While you were peeking through the door" Shinpachi said staring at Gintoki. "What are you peeking at?"

"Nothing!" Gin said quickly.

Suddenly Kagura walked out dressed in her usually red long sleeved shirt and red pants carrying her umbrella. Gin took this moment to enter the room to see Naruto and hopefully get a picture, however he was disappointed as Naruto stood up.

"Ano Ototo are your whisker marks really that sensitive?" Gin asked. "It seemed you really enjoyed yourself"

"Hmm, I don't know, was I really purring from such a good feeling or was I acting to make a girl happy?" Naruto asked "I'll just let you have to find out if it was acting or if my whisker marks really are sensitive"

Gin stared at Naruto with narrowed eyes. "Can I rub them?" He asked holding up a hand while still looking at Naruto with narrowed eyes.

"HELL NO!"

"Why not!"

"Because that would be weird as that Gorilla!"

Naruto then walked pass Gintoki. "I'm going to another job" He turned to his older brother. "I'll be home soon Nii-san" He walked out of the room and while going through he petted Sadaharu a Inugami and a member of Yorozuya and basically their mascot. He then went to his job of the day.

 _Later_

Naruto was currently standing in front of an old lady.

"Ah thank you for coming Naru-chan" The old lady said. "I'm sorry if it is an inconvenience"

"Maa maa it's fine" Naruto reassured.

"As you know the business if making delicious sugary circles better known as…" The old lady started.

"Donuts" Naruto said "I know baa-chan"

The old lady laughed as she had a few bags with her. "Well I'll be back in a week. You can keep the money but remember to pay the taxes"

"Okay Baa-chan" He said "Don't party too hard!" The old lady laughed as she disappeared from view.

Naruto watched as the Old Donut Lady left for her vacation.

Naruto's job of the day was actually of the week as he would run the donut shop. When he was younger he visited most of the shops his brother took him to eat, even though his brother evaded the ramen shop like the plague they finally ate their without Naruto eating him broke, they came to this very donut shop.

 _Day 1_

Naruto started to make doughnuts for the shop with different icings. People walked in and bought them and some wondered where the old lady was and he explained where she went.

Naruto looked up as he heard a bell ring that was attached to the door as he carried a tray of doughnuts.

A female around his age with long dark blue hair, dark crimson eyes wearing a unique uniform consisting of a greatcoat and shorts. Naruto looked into her eyes and saw the eyes of a murderer, but behind that he saw a kind girl with regret and guilt.

Naruto then noticed what the uniform belonged to, the Mimawarigumi, a special police force created to restore order to Kyoto. The Mimawarigumi were made up of higher-ranking samurai and retainer who served feudal lords.

Naruto knew them all too well as the Mimawarigumi was actually trying to get him into the Mimawarigumi. It was a shock to Naruto himself as he didn't know why they would go for a ronin but it was probably because of him being the personal bodyguard for Shige Shige.

He did make a name for himself and it was become a big target in the Mimawarigumi Recruitment Office.

Naruto smiled at his fellow teen. "Afternoon" He said.

The girl looked emotionless as she looked around the room. "Where is the owner?" She asked.

"The owner went on vacation for the week I am watching the store" Naruto said as he gave her a smile. "How may I help you today?"

"I'll take… five boxes of Doughnuts" She said.

"Any recommendations of what variation of doughnut?" He asked the Mimawarigumi member.

The girl seemed to think for a bit before pointing out each type of donut she wanted.

" _Wonder why the author is swapping between doughnut and donut. JUST PICK ONE!_ " Naruto thought.

Naruto handed over her donuts as she paid for them. As she left she stopped and turned around to look at Naruto.

"Hmm"

"Is there a problem?"

"You're the Orange Monster aren't you?"

Naruto looked at her as he picked his ear with his finger. "That I am"

"You are recommended to become a member of the Mimawarigumi"

"I know" Naruto said. "I even had the pleasure of meeting your commander Isaburo Sasaki"

The girl didn't show that she was shocked she still had that same emotionless look on her face. She turned around and started to leave.

"Hold on a second" Naruto called out. She stopped and turned to Naruto. "Since who am I it isn't it common curtesy to tell me who you are?"

"Nobume, Nobume Imai" Nobume said as she left the donut shop.

Naruto's eyes twitched as she left the doughnut shop.

"MAKE UP YOUR MIND ALREADY! IS IT DONUT OR DOUGHNUT! YOUR STARTING TO DRIVE ME INSANE!"

That marked the first day of the week.

 _Day 2_

Another day another doughnut, the day started off the same as the last however Naruto slept in the room connected to the shop due to the job. He remembered to let Otose tell Gin that he would be away for the week.

"Good morning Nobume-san" Naruto said as he had a tray of donuts. He didn't need to turn around to see if it was Nobume, why?

That's because it wasn't the first time that she had entered the shop today. At first he thought that she was here on behave of the Mimawarigumi but it turned out she had an addiction to the sugary circles.

"Usual" Nobume said as Naruto pulled out a few boxes and handed to her as she handed over the money. Instead of leaving the shop this time she took a seat on one of the many seats in the shop.

"I would like you to join the Mimawarigumi" Nobume said catching his attention.

"And why is that?" He asked the Mimawarigumi Vice-Captain.

"Because you can make donuts" Nobume said.

"Eh that's it only to make donuts?" He asked the stoic girl who only nodded.

Naruto just stared at her before placing money on the counter. "Another box"

"Coming right up"

Nobume later left and the day came to an end.

 _Day 3_

The day went a bit slower than usually maybe it was because Naruto had no one to talk to. He sighed and went to do the taxes for the old lady. The old lady's vacation was booked the a few days her taxes were to be sent and she couldn't do them or else she would have missed her pick up. The taxes came in today and Naruto would get them done today.

Naruto set up the shop for any customers and after a few hours Nobume came in. He was starting to see a trend here.

"Three boxes" Nobume said as she placed the money on the counter.

"Only three this time?" Naruto asked as he pulled three boxes.

Nobume nodded "Lunch break"

Naruto also nodded, explained much really.

It was a short day and he was beginning to see Nobume as a friend. Naruto then saw something on her neck but couldn't tell what it was.

Nobume noticed his eyes on her and looked at him. Naruto looked back at her. "Yes?" She asked.

"Oh it's nothing" Naruto said. Nobume stood up and was about to leave before she was given a box.

"I didn't pay for this box" Nobume said as Naruto just smiled.

"Nah it's fine, you are my best regular daily customer and friend. So this one is for free"

Nobume looked at the box in her hands and back up at Naruto who smiled. Nobume walked away back to the Mimawarigumi.

 _Day 4_

It was the fourth day at the doughnut shop as Naruto's eye twitched violently. Naruto already made Nobume's donuts already and his eye twitched again.

"PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY! JUST CHOOSE ONE GOD DAMN WORD!" Naruto shouted at the author. The person who could control Naruto's life in this dimension and had many ways to do so, Naruto paled at the author.

"Maybe the author is a sadist" Naruto said lowly.

Nobume walked in carrying a box. Naruto raised a brow as he looked at the box after giving Nobume he paid boxes and her free box.

"What is this Nobume-chan?" Naruto said as Nobume handed him the box.

Upon opening the box it revealed a male Mimawarigumi uniform, Naruto sweat dropped but noticed something under the uniform. Pulling it out was a flip phone, Naruto never had a phone despite having the money from the jobs he been on he never actually spent it except for rent. He usually kept it for emergencies or for other needs that arise.

Like Jump.

Food was also another necessary.

Okay he spent money but he never bought a phone.

"Nobume-chan, I-I can't accept this" Naruto said.

"Isn't this what friends do?" Nobume asked with a tilted head.

"Yes but you didn't need to buy me a phone"

"Would you have bought one without me buying you one?"

"…"

"…"

"…No..."

Nobume still had her impassive face as she looked at Naruto "Then there is no problem"

"But there is! You bought me a phone, it was probably expensive"

"Not really"

"But still…"

"You gave me free donuts, I give you a phone"

"But a phone is worth more than dozens of doughtnuts"

"I paid for more doughnuts combined than that phone"

Naruto sighed it seemed she wasn't going to give up on this. He then smiled at Nobume. "Thank you Nobume-chan, I'll treasure them forever" He gave a charming smile at her.

He didn't want to wear the Mimawarigumi uniform as he wasn't a member but he would treasure it.

Nobume turned around with her donuts, with Naruto missing something on her face. Maybe he broke through to her.

 _Day 5_

It was the fifth day as Naruto looked around the shop soon the original owner would be on her way home. Naruto looked at his phone and check hi contacts as he didn't have enough time to put any contacts in last time.

He did have one contact already, Nobume Imai.

Naruto then added Otose to the list of contacts and also Gintoki as well. Shige Shige was another to be added to the contact list.

Naruto got up from his seat and headed over towards the door.

"Three, Two, One" He counted down and opened the door revealing Nobume who just got there. "Right on time Nobume-chan"

Nobume walked into the shop followed by Naruto. Barely any customers came into shop leaving Naruto and Nobume alone most of the time.

"Come here Nobume-chan"

Nobume followed Naruto behind the counter. "Why am I here?"

"Well Nobume-chan you like donuts right?"

"…Yes"

"Then…Let's make some donuts!" Naruto said as Nobume's eyes widened.

Naruto and Nobume spent the rest of the day making doughnuts, Nobume seemed to have trouble at first and Naruto saw something on Nobume's face that would be seen as a once in a blue moon.

A smile and laughter.

 _Day 6_

It was the sixth day as someone other than Nobume walked in.

"Isaburo Sasaki" Naruto said as the commander of the Mimawarigumi looked at Naruto.

"Ah Naruto-san, you work here?" The commander asked.

" _So Nobume didn't tell him_ " Naruto thought "No just taking over for a day for the old lady"

"I see" Isaburo said. He walked closer to the counter and looked down. "I noticed you finally got a phone"

"Ah yes I did" Naruto said. Holding up his orange flip phone.

"Flip phone, a good choice" Isaburo said.

"Thanks?" Naruto said unsurely " _It's hard to tell if he is here by accident or by Nobume_ "

"I'll take two boxes of these donuts" He pointed out to the ones he wanted.

"I never pictured you as the doughnut type" Naruto said packing the doughnuts into a box and handing it over once he got the money.

Isaburo took the boxes and looked at Naruto. "I recommend you to join Mimawarigumi"

"I'll think it over" Naruto said as the man nodded and left.

Day 7

It was Naruto's final day as he was waiting for the old lady while still running the shop. He sat there eating doughnuts with Nobume.

Naruto took half of the payment as the old lady returned.

"Thank you for looking over the shop Naru-chan" The owner of the shop said.

"No problem baa-san" Naruto said as he got up "See you around Nobume-chan"

Naruto waved and Nobume waved back. Naruto headed back to Yorozuya and meet a new face in Otose Snack House.

"Hello" Naruto said.

"Hello" The new person said. The new person was a green haired female with dark eyes. Her hair is usually pulled back into a ponytail with a large screw used as a holder. She was wearing a blue yukata and was holding a broom.

"Who are you?" Naruto asked.

"I am Tama" She said. "It's nice to meet you Naruto-san"

"I see you met Tama Naruto-chan" The voice of Otose said as she walked in.

"Who is she?"

"Tama is a an android maid" Otose said "She is our waitress and Gin's rent collector"

"Wait I thought I was paying the rent?" Naruto asked with a tilted head.

"You were but since you are basically wasting money and with Gintoki not paying it himself, I decided to make him pay his own rent" Otose said "You can help Gintoki here and there but Tama can tell which money is used for the rent if it was from you or Gintoki"

Naruto turned to Tama. "Well it's nice to meet you Tama"

"Likewise"

After the meeting Tama Naruto went upstairs and his mobile went off.

"Moshi Moshi" Naruto said "Nobume-chan"

Naruto walked over to the window "Huh what do you mean open the blinds" Naruto then opened the blinds to see… Nobume.

" _HOW DID SHE KNOW WHERE I LIVED! D-DID SHE FOLLOW ME!_ " Naruto inwardly shouted.

"Hello" She said.

"DON'T SAY HELLO SO CASUALLY WHEN YOU FOUND OUT WHERE I LIVED!" Naruto shouted as he opened the window. "What are you doing here?"

"Friends visit each other like this right?" She asked.

"They do but not like this" Naruto said "What you just did was more like between two people dating"

"So was that wrong"

"No no it was fine Nobume-chan" Naruto reassured.

Nobume stayed with Naruto and no one knew that she was with Naruto eventually Nobume looked at the clock and left with a wave back to the Mimawarigumi.

Naruto saw Gin walk in a few minutes later after Nobume left through the window "Hello Nii-san, Kagura-chan"

Gin waved and Kagura waved as well. Gin sat at his desk and Kagura sat on a couch. Naruto was looking at the ground luckily for him the others were busy.

" _Why am I feeling like this, my heart is racing why am I thinking of Nobume-chan…am I falling for her?_ " Naruto thought then an image of Kyubei appeared " _Now I'm thinking of Kyu-chan, I haven't been with her as long as I have been with Nobume_ "

Gin was looking down at his manga but if you were to look through his eyes you would see the blackmail photos he took.

" _Kagura and Naruto look happy in these when they are both asleep and awake_ " Gin thought " _I guess they look cute together…wait I see them as my brother and sister. My little younger brother and younger sister and here I am pairing them up!_ "

Gin then remembered something from earlier and it would help him take his mind of pairing them up. He placed the photos in a draw under his manga.

"Naruto there is something we need to discuss" Gin said seriously.

"What is it?" Naruto said also seriously.

"Should the author add a parody list to the end of the chapter?"

"Eh?" Naruto said making the conversation lose all seriousness.

"A parody list, a list at the end of the chapter with all the parodies in the story thus far" Gin said. "If we do have it would place all the parodies in the chapters expect for the parodies on the next chapter to be revealed on the next chapter afterwards to keep them guessing"

"Well it's up to the author isn't it" Naruto said.

"Hmm I guess so"

Naruto relaxed into his seat. "Why do you want to add a parody list to the chapters? Do you lack faith in our readers in order to pick out the parodies they were pretty much labelled as what they were parodying"

"WHAT ABOUT THE LAST CHAPTER! ONLY THOSE WHO PLAYED THE PARODY WOULD HAVE KNOWN ABOUT IT!"

"If they just type in the search bar they will find it quite easily"

Naruto and Gin looked each other's eyes.

"Then how about this? We will let the author put a poll" Gintoki said.

"But can't they just use the review to say yes or screw that and you while I'm at it?"

Gintoki sighed "People like polls, 10 out of 10 non-existent people said yes"

"This whole conversation feels like a drawn out author's note" Naruto said with his face in his hand or was it his hand on his face? "Why can't the author just use an author's note?"

"Is it because people hate Author Note chapters when they find a story they like and are invested in?" Surprisngly Kagura asked.

Gintoki nodded "Yes people hate that but what Naruto is talking about is Author Notes at the end of the chapter"

"Maybe it's because they can be used as excuses to draw out a short chapter" Kagura said.

"No, those author's notes have information usually"

"Then is it because the author is insane?"

Gintoki stopped to think for a bit before answering Kagura. "Yes, the author is insane"

"DO GO CALLING THE AUTHOR INSANE!" Naruto shouted "HE CAN CONTROL US INTO DOING ANYTHING!"

It's true you know.

The insane bit as well.

"DON'T JUST AGREE WITH THEM!"

DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!

"I'M NOT TELLING YOU WHAT TO DO! I JUST DON'T WANT YOU IN WITH A BAD CROWD!"

"We're a bad crowd?" Kagura asked nobody.

"Oi stop fighting with the author" Gintoki said to Naruto.

STAY OUT OF THIS

"STAY OUT OF THIS"

Naruto looked at the author… who was represented as… nothing.

"I'm sorry for raising my voice" Naruto said "I just don't want you to be badly influenced by them"

Its fine I'm sorry as well… want to go and eat some parfait?

"Sure let's go"

"Oi, I want to come too!" Gintoki said.

"Me too!" Kagura said as she followed Naruto, Gintoki and a non-existent author.

Those who saw them eat wondered how the one of the four parfaits was being eaten by nobody.


	5. Chapter 5

**Orange Monster of Kabuki**

 _ **Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Gintama**_

Chapter 5

It was a beautiful morning in Kabuki District and Yorozuya where talking about very serious topics.

"Looks like the poll has ended with four people saying yes" Gin said "I'm surprised no one said no and called the author an asshole"

"They probably thought the author would be calling them an asshole for choosing the no option" Naruto said to his older brother.

"I guess so maybe we should have but a '(Me not you)' in"

"Probably"

"But this is good isn't it?" Shinpachi asked. "Now we can tell what we are parodying or what jokes we are using"

"That's right" The silver haired samurai said. "But we have something serious to discuss" Gintoki said seriously.

"What's that Gin-chan?" Kagura asked.

Gin then suddenly slammed his hands onto the table. "We have a rising demand for a serious chapter" He said.

"But didn't we have the Yagyu Arc in chapter 2?" Shinpachi asked.

"Yes but we need more serious chapters. The readers demand it!"

"Demand it? How many people demanded it?" The Orange Monster of Kabuki asked.

"One person!" Gin yelled.

"Eh?" Both Naruto and Shinpachi said.

"WateryDogClaws said 'Feels like the manga and the anime but in novel form, I recommend going through some serious chapters like the manga so the story won't get stale like bread left on the counter for a few days and it will be nice change of pace' it's obvious that we need a serious chapter" Gintoki said.

"THAT'S NOT A DEMAND IT'S A SUGGESTION! BESIDES WHY DID YOU CHANGE THE NAME OF THE REVIEWER! AND WHY DID YOU ADD A LINE THAT WASN'T IN THE REVIEW!" Naruto yelled at Gin.

"To keep him or her anonymous" Gintoki replied.

"THAT'S NOT ANONYMOUS! YOU BARELY KEPT IT HIDDEN! YOU CHANGED THE NAME AND TOOK THE REVIEW THE SAME REVIEW! PEOPLE CAN TELL WHO IT IS!" Shinpachi shouted.

"Ah then it was FFP" Gin said.

"THAT'S BARELY CHANGING A THING! NOW YOU'RE GIVING IT AWAY!"

"Sorry FieryFoxPaws, we tried" Naruto apologized.

"THAT'S NOT TRYING! NOW YOU SAID THEIR NAME!" Shinpachi yelled at Naruto.

"But didn't you say they would know of who it was?"

"Yes! But that didn't mean that you could SAY THEIR NAME!"

"To late for that"

"NOW HE OR SHE IS GOING TO THINK WE'RE MAKING FUN OF THEM!"

"Were not making fun of them, they asked a serious question" Gintoki said.

"BUT IT WASN'T A QUESTION THOUGH!" Shinpachi yelled at Gin.

"Besides he or she is basically acknowledged and used as a character in this chapter" Naruto said.

"What do you mean?" Shinpachi asked the whiskered blonde.

"Have a look at this photo of FFP" Naruto said as he pulled out a photo. It was a picture of a fox's paw on fire.

"THAT'S JUST A FOX'S PAW ON FIRE!" Shinpachi yelled at Naruto.

"DON'T GO INSULTING THE BEAUTY OF OUR REVIEWER!" Naruto yelled back.

"Shame on you Shinpachi" Gintoki said.

"Shame on you" Naruto repeated.

"HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT WAS FFP! IT LOOKED JUST LIKE A BURNING FOXES PAW!" Shinpachi yelled.

"Are you saying that FFP and fox paws look the same? That's incredible racist of you racist of you Shinpachi" Naruto said.

"I'm very disappointed in you Shinpachi" Gin said as he shook his head in disappointment.

"I'M NOT A RACIST!" Shinpachi shouted in denial. "Kagura-chan help me out"

Kagura looked away from Shinpachi. "I don't talk to racists"

"Shinpachi we will talk about this later, for now we need a chapter for the rest of this chapter!" Gin said.

Suddenly the phones started to ring.

"Ah what a convenience" Gin said as he answered the phone. "Eh? PARFAIT TURNED INTO NOODLES!"

Naruto after hearing one call then rang Nobume.

"Hello?" Nobume asked as she answered her phone.

"Nobume I got something to tell you" Naruto then said something in a whisper.

"WHAT! DOUGHNUTS TURNED INTO NOODLES!" Nobume yelled uncharacteristically. Naruto then heard that she hung the phone up.

Naruto then picked up another phone. "WHAT! NOODLES TURNED INTO NOODLES!"

"Gin-san it seems every type of food has been turned into noodles!" Shinpachi asked as he answered another phone.

"WERE DID ALL THESE PHONES COME FROM!" Gintoki shouted. "AND HOW DID THEY ALL KNOW OUR NUMBER ANYWAY!"

"HOW THE HELL SHOULD I KNOW!" Naruto yelled. Just then Tama walked into the room.

"Gintoki-sama a squid amanto has been sighted at the hair salon" Tama said "It may have something to do with everything turning into noodles"

"QUICKLY AVENGE THE PARFAIT!" Gintoki shouted as he ran out the door with Shinpachi, Kagura, Sadaharu and Naruto following him.

 _Hair Salon_

Gintoki and Shinpachi arrived at the Hair Salon on Gin's scooter with Kagura riding on Sadaharu's back. Naruto somehow followed them on foot which he ended up to the Hair Salon first.

"Is that music?" Naruto asked.

"Help his gone crazy since that song started playing!" One of the trapped customers tied to one of the chairs said. "He's been making everyone's hair into noodle styles"

"This guy has hostages!" Shinpachi yelled.

"Introducing the new flava!" The Squid Amanto sung.

"Oh god it's singing" Naruto said.

"Cutting hair can be fabulous" He sung. "Come inside have a seat and relax. I promise you everything will be alright"

The Yorozuya just had deadpanned stares as they watched the squid-like amanto.

"Please help us!" One of the trapped clients said.

Gintoki walked over to the radio and picked it up and threw it on the ground breaking the radio. The squid amanto then turned back to normal.

"What happened?" The squid amanto asked as he looked as his clients.

"A song on the radio made you crazy mister" Kagura said.

The Yorozuya then left the Hair Salon.

"We don't have a lead" Shinpachi said.

Gintoki was doing too well. " _At this rate I will never eat parfait again!_ " Gin had anime tears going down his face.

"So you are the ones who are in our way of World Noodleization" A voice said.

"Who are you freaks?" Naruto and Gin said in unison.

"I am the fashionable! The grand! Moodle Noodle!" Moodle Noodle introduced himself.

"I'm the one who has amassed wealth" Boodle Noodle.

"I am the one who loves to draw" Doodle Noodle.

"Bark bark" A dog… barked.

"That's our loyal dog, Poodle Noodle!"

The Yorozuya looked at the Noodles. Boodle Noodle was wearing a suit that have of an impressions that he was a Yakuza like thug with black slick hair and a stitch under his right eye going down past his mouth.

Doodle Noodle wore an artist's apron and a beret and basically everyday clothes. Doodle Noodle was also the only female Noodle there she also had long green hair. Moodle Noodle had nothing to do with his name. He just wore no shirt, one glove on one hand, a pair of short going past the knee and a pair of sunglasses tipped down so you could see his eyes.

The four Yorozuya members just had deadpanned looks on their face.

"Seems like the author is good with names" Naruto said with sarcasm.

"Yeah I hate to be one of the ones who would be named by the author" Gin said.

"What about the ones not in this story" Kagura said.

"Oh yeah" Naruto said. "Better than these names"

"But their names are alright as they fit the story" Gintoki said.

"OI!" Moodle yelled. "Don't ignore us!"

"So you're the fools that made MY PARFAIT INTO NOODLES!" Gin yelled with red glowing eyes.

" _I'm surprised that Nobume isn't here_ " Naruto thought.

"We will fight one on one for each member. One of you will have to sit out" Boodle said "Poodle Noodle, you're up first"

"Sadaharu I choose you!" Kagura said as Sadaharu and Poodle walked up to each other.

"Bark Bark" Poodle said.

"Woof Woof" Sadaharu replied.

The Noodles and Yorozuya watched as both Sadaharu and Poodle walked away.

"WHERE ARE YOU TWO GOING!" Gintoki shouted.

"To think Poodle would be defeated so easily" Boodle said before he smirked. "But it seems you took a loss as well"

"YOU CALL THAT A DEFEAT!" Shinpachi shouted. "THAT HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH FIGHTING!"

Boodle then stepped forward. "Who dare faces off against me in a rap battle!"

The Yorozuya gathered in a circle. "Who knows how to rap?" Gintoki asked the others. Shinpachi, Kagura and Naruto shook their heads. "Damn" Gin said he really wanted his parfait.

"I'll go" Naruto said as he got up and walked forward.

"Naruto" Gintoki, Kagura and Shinpachi said.

"It's not Naruto… It's Altruistic Wasp" Naruto said. Gin then had a tick mark appear on his face.

Meanwhile with a person with long black hair with olive-brown eyes and wearing a blue kimino with a yellow slash, A pale blue haori on top of the kimono and white socks with slippers. This was Kotarou Katsura normally called Zura.

Zura sneezed and looked into the sky. "Someone… understands my pain" He said with anime tears rolling down his face. "I'm so happy!"

Back to the action!

"Why…why does he have to be included in this story" Gintoki said looking at the ground.

Boodle looked at Naruto. "So you're ready to lose?"

"You're the one who is going to lose fool ya fool" Naruto replied.

"Yeah, uh-huh, uh-huh, yeah what? I understand, it's nothing personal. Of one individual person I smile like a criminal" Boodle sang. "Wings spread, sword drift y'all are vanity losin my sanity. I open up my garage I'm so loved and hated 'round the community"

"That sound like something from a random generator" Shinpachi said.

"It is" Gintoki said "It's from a random generator because the author doesn't like rap"

"Yo! Say! Ho!" Naruto sung. "You know my name, you know my fame, don't be lame! Orange Monster, that's me, da rappin, Altruistic Wasp. Makin' beats and rhymes and I'm makin' 'em live. It's what a samurai needs to survive. Step aside and prepare to be petrified cause it's hard out there for a samurai when you fightin' and recitin' and your rhymes are freaky, my vanquished fore do the dance of defeat and we celebrate my win with these ice cold beats. Its win, win, win till the end of forever!"

"He… just took a rap from him…great…" Gintoki said knowing where that rap come from he should have seen it from his choice of name.

"T…that was bad…" Shinpachi said.

Boodle Noodle then fell onto his back. "You have proven you are the best, your words have struck me in my chest" He then went unconscious.

"I am never doing that again" Naruto said.

"Boodle and Poodle have been defeated" Doodle said. "I guess it's my turn!"

Kagura and Shinpachi looked at each other. "What's this one?" Shinpachi asked.

"Drawing contest" Doodle answered.

"Do you know how to draw Shinpachi" Kagura asked.

"No what about you?" Shinpachi asked Kagura who shook her head no.

"So who is going to challenge me" Doodle asked as she was waiting.

"This might be difficult" Naruto said "What if they can't draw?" He asked the artist.

"Then I will win"

"Shinpachi!" Gin said causing Shinpachi to stand up straight.

"Y-yes Gin-san"

"Go and win!" Shinpachi nodded and went to face off against Doodle.

Doodle gave him a canvas to draw. Doodle drew a beautiful picture of fox standing in front of a sunset and it was fully coloured. Shinpachi drew Tsu Terakado, a girl with purple hair and brown eyes, an idol that Shinpachi likes and created a fan club back when she was a street performer.

"How could this be?" Doodle said "A draw!"

"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE!" Naruto and Gin yelled.

"No…a…a…victory!" Doodle said.

"Finally…" The Sakata brothers said.

"Sorry guys…" Shinpachi said.

"It's fine Shinpachi" Gintoki said.

"At least you get to keep your painting" Naruto said and Shinpachi looked up.

Moodle then set forward. "We are now tied, one win one loss and one draw" He said. "Now in order to reverse the noodle effect you must defeat me"

Gintoki walked forward. "So you're my opponent?" Moodle asked but got a bokuto across the face sending him into the ground.

Gintoki grabbed Moodle by the…well he wasn't wearing a shirt…so…the arm? Yes the arm! He pulled him up by the arm and then grabbed his shoulders and started to shake him. "TURN. EVERYTHING. .NOODLES!" Gintoki shouted in Moodle's face. "I. WANT. MY. PARFAIT!"

"O-okay, j-just let me go!" Moodle pleaded and Gintoki dropped him and Moodle brought out a button and pressed it.

Naruto got out his phone when it rang. "Hello?"

"The doughnuts are back" Nobume said back in her normal impassive voice.

Naruto released a sigh of relief. "That's good. I gotta go" Naruto said and after hanging up watched as Gin destroyed the device.

"Now I can eat parfait again" Gin said with a smile.

Doodle walked over holding fox drawing and handed over to Naruto. "Eh why are you giving me this?" Naruto asked.

"You give off the impression of a fox" She answered.

"See you are a fox Neko-kun" Kagura said.

"So the Noodle Arc is over then?" Naruto asked.

"Yep. This chapter is over" Gin replied to his brother. "Remember next chapter is a serious chapter"

"Oh yeah" Naruto said "We also have to put the Parody List in now"

"Let's just go home" Shinpachi said as the four walked in a line towards the sunset.

"Isn't it the same as that one ending in a different story with the same crossover?" Naruto asked.

"Your right it is!" Gintoki shouted.

"Were going to keep walking until the chapter ends are we?" Shinpachi asked.

"Quiet we remember what happened at the beginning of the chapter Shimura" Naruto said.

"WHY ARE YOU USING MY LAST NAME ALL OF A SUDDEN! I TOLD YOU I DIDN'T KNOW!"

"Yeah yeah" The three said as they walked into the sunset like that other story while ignoring Shinpachi.

 **Parody List**

 _ **Chapter 1**_

Assassination Classroom – Mach 20 Octopus teaching a class to kill him.

Conker's Bad Fur Day – Great Mighty Gin (Great Mighty Poo)

 _ **Chapter 2**_

Witcher – Gin saying 'of Rivia' for Naruto's name and using two swords for one humans and the other for monsters

One Piece – Naruto saying becoming a bounty hunter using three swords and one in his mouth.

Dragon Ball Z – Old green slug looking man calling himself god reference to Kami and training in the hyperbolic time chamber described as a white barren room by Naruto.

Mario – Naruto literally Goomba Stomping a guard to death….he is still alive…not dead…I swear.

Naruto – Naruto calling Kyubei, Kyubi and Kurama

Another Story – A reference to another story I have where I accidently gave a description twice, first in chapter one and another in chapter two…yeah I kind of forgot.

 _ **Chapter 3**_

Gitaroo Man – Basically the plot from the game Gitaroo Man

More Cowbell – A skit that was from SNK

No, Hell No! – From the Movie Cop Out

RPG Quests – When Naruto says he was to get an award from a quest

 _ **Chapter 4**_

Naruto – Gintoki doing an Orochimaru impression when getting blackmail.

 _ **Nearly Every Chapter**_

Fourth Wall Breaking

There are some jokes in there like Yowie being mistaken for Yaoi and what not in. Besides this mainly parodies will be shown as some of the jokes could be easily recognized. You may be wondering where is Chapter Five's parody list. Well it will be on the end of Chapter Six, this way you can wonder what it is.

See you next chapter, story or whatever.

…

Bye.

 **Bonus**

"Eh? turns we have two extra voters" Gin said.

"Huh? Well what did they vote?" Naruto asked.

"Turns out one called the author an asshole...finally" Gin answered. "And the other voted yes"

"Well... what are we going to do about this?"

"Simply we will just add this to the end of the chapter after Parody List"

"But isn't that lazy and cheap?"

"YES! That is exactly what we are doing!"

And so they did...lazy cheap ass bastards...


	6. Chapter 6

**Orange Monster of Kabuki**

 _ **Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Gintama**_

Chapter 6

Naruto was currently in his Mimawarigumi outfit that Nobume gave him and was walking besides Isaburo.

"Thank you for coming on a short notice Naruto-san" Isaburo said as he walked while on his phone.

"I guess its fine" Naruto said. "What do you need me to do?"

"There is a dangerous amanto we need taken care of" Isaburo said. "The amanto is question is an expert swordsman"

"So an amanto swordsman? What else?"

"The amanto is a male and a part of the Shinra Tribe. He fought in the Joui War and is also a war criminal"

"War criminal? What are his war crimes?"

"Killing his own allies on the battlefield" Isaburo told Naruto.

"So I am to execute this criminal?"

"Yes but be careful he is a war veteran" Isaburo said. "Don't worry about going alone Nobume will be sent with you"

Naruto took in this information. "Do you have any more information on him?"

"Why yes I do" The Mimawarigumi commander said. "Last I heard he created a gang made out of loyal followers of both human and amanto. His name is Masashige"

"When do I head out?"

"At the earliest convenience"

Naruto smirked. "If I said I was ready now, what would you say?"

Isaburo turned to Naruto. "Then I'll say meet up with Nobume"

Naruto nodded and went in a different direction to where Isaburo was going. It felt weird wearing the Mimawarigumi uniform but he didn't complain, it was actually pretty comfortable.

Naruto headed towards the doughnut shop where he usually met up with Nobume. "Hey Nobume-chan"

Nobume turned to see Naruto wearing his uniform. "So you joined?" She asked.

Naruto shrugged. "I said temporary but they probably put me as a full time member" Nobume nodded "Anyway I got a mission with you"

Nobume raised an eyebrow. "A mission?"

Naruto nodded in response. "We are to take out Masashige of the Shinra Tribe"

Nobume's eyes widened a little. "Taking on a dangerous criminal?"

"Yep, don't worry we will be fine" Naruto reassured. "Let's go find this war criminal"

 _Meanwhile_

A male amanto with blue hair and purple colour skin. A pair of red eyes, elf-like ears and a red mole on his forehead, this was a member of the Shinra Tribe Masashige. Masashige was a tall individual and had scars on his body.

Masashige smirked. "So it seems Mimawarigumi sent their Vice-Captain and the Orange Monster of Kabuki after me huh" He said amused. "A pair of brats sent to kill a war veteran? Who do they think I am?"

Masashige stood up and gave a deep menacing laugh. "Well come on brats. Show me why the Mimawarigumi chose you two to kill me"

 _With Naruto and Nobume_

Naruto and Nobume where walking down the street hoping to see a member of Masashige's gang. Naruto looked down at a piece of paper. The piece of paper had various details of Masashige's gang.

Each gang member wore clothing that showed that they were a part of the gang. A symbol of a snake eating itself, Ouroboros.

Nobume tapped Naruto on the shoulder and when he looked up he saw a man walk down an alleyway…with a symbol of Ouroboros on his back.

Putting the note away he followed the man into the alleyway. Naruto suddenly coughed to get the man's attention. The man turned around quickly to see Naruto.

"Ah it's just a brat…" The man said. "What do you want?"

"I want your boss" Naruto said.

"My boss?"

"Masashige"

"Hmm like I'll tell you" The man said before he felt a blade on his neck.

"You brats…" The man said before he noticed their uniform. "M-Mimawarigumi!"

"That's right now you'll tell us where Masashige is"

"Or what" The man said.

Naruto sighed. "Fingers first then balls then tongue" He said causing the man to pale. "Does that sound fun?"

"I-I'll never talk!" The man said.

"Nobume-chan do you want to do the honours or me?"

"I'll do it" Nobume said as she used her katana to cut of the man's pinkie finger.

"AARRGHH" The man screamed but luckily it was muffled by Nobume.

"Okay…okay…I'll talk"

"That was quick usually we get just before the balls" Naruto said.

"Masashige he…he is…at the abandon construction site"

"Abandon?"

"Yeah, he took over a construction site were a skyscraper was going but he and a few other members took the construction site as his own"

"We thank you for your time sir" Naruto said. "Nobume set him free"

Nobume nodded and the man looked relieved until he saw the sword Nobume had about to cut his neck.

"I thought you said you were going to set me free?"

"I lied" Naruto said. "You are a murderer, all members of Masashige's gang have to kill people in order to get in"

Nobume then sliced the man's neck.

"Good work Nobume now we know where to go" Naruto said.

"The abandon construction site is on the other side of town" She said.

Naruto looked down at the corpse. "What do we do with that?"

Nobume looked at the corpse and back at Naruto. "It will be fine" She said as she placed a small blinking blue light on the body. "This is a standard procedure for the Mimawarigumi. When a body is found or made we place this light on the body so the clean-up crew can take care of it"

"Ah I see" Naruto said as the two left the alleyway.

 _Abandon Construction Site_

"So they found out where I am huh?" Masashige chuckled to himself. "We I'll send 'them' out to test them"

 _Naruto and Nobume_

Naruto and Nobume were heading to the construction site when both of their danger senses went off. Both of them jumped to the side when a figure crashed between them.

"Hohohoho it seems that my play things have dodged my attack" The large figure said.

" _That was an attack?_ " Naruto thought " _But I can't complain since I did a similar attack on another guy_ "

Naruto looked at the large figure. He was a Inuisei amanto with a scar running along his mouth and a white streak of fur going from the top of his down his back. He was wearing long pair of combat pants and no shoes.

"Hohohoho my name is Kegawa" The Inuisei said. "And I will be your opponent!"

Kegawa got down into a pouncing position and then suddenly leap towards Naruto. Naruto turned to the side narrowly dodging Kegawa. " _Man his fast!_ " Naruto thought before looking at the small crater in the ground. " _And strong to_ "

Nobume had her katana out and ready to fight back and Naruto placed a hand over his bokuto rather than his own katana.

"Hohohoho it seems you are captivated by my strength" Kegawa said.

Naruto's eyes narrowed as he looked at Kegawa he seemed different from the other members of Masashige's gang and then Naruto's eyes widened.

"You're not a part of his gang are you?"

"Hahaha you got it" Kegawa said. "I am a mercenary hired by Masashige to 'test' you"

"Test me?"

"Both of you actually"

Nobume's hands tightened around her katana. "Why is that?" She asked.

"Masashige wondered why two 'brats' in his opinion were sent to kill him or take him into custody"

"So he thinks we are just brats?"

"Yes" Kegawa answered the Vice-Captain. "Now let us see who is stronger!" Kegawa said as Naruto held his hand up to Nobume.

"Nobume-chan, I'll handle this" Nobume was about to response until she saw his eyes filled with confidence and determination. Nobume then put her sword in her away and was handed Naruto's katana to hold.

"Ah so you are going to fight me and with a bokuto no less" Kegawa said.

"You are not a part of Masashige's gang so your life won't be taken" Naruto said. "But if I…no when I win this battle I want you to promise to leave Masashige you can still be a mercenary if you wish but as long as you don't join people like Masashige"

Kegawa looked at Naruto seriously. "And if I choose to continue working for people like Masashige?"

"Then I will beat it out of you!"

"Haha good words" Kegawa said. "Now… put your money where your mouth is!" Kegawa then shot of like a rocket to Naruto who rolled to the side.

Kegawa pulled his fist back as he came closer to Naruto who pulled out his bokuto. Naruto used his bokuto to block the flurry of punches that Kegawa was sending his way. It was a good thing that Naruto had a tremendous amount of stamina.

Naruto then started to jump while Kegawa was punching. Kegawa's eyes widened at what Naruto was doing. He was climbing every time he punched.

Naruto then kicked the Inuisei was knocked back a little and landed behind him. He swung his bokuto into the Inuisei amanto's side.

Kegawa jumped away and rubbed his side. "That was a pretty strong attack" He complimented the blonde.

Kegawa then approached Naruto as Naruto swung his bokuto as soon as Kegawa started punching and added kicks into the mix. Naruto was able to block all attacks due to his stamina and battle experience as well as his speed.

Right now it was an endurance test. While Inuisei had the appearance of dogs they also had a lot of stamina just like Naruto. They also had speed and strength even though the strength was less than a Yato it was still more than an average human.

They also had a superior military force.

Naruto swung his bokuto again and again trying to create an opening when suddenly he got an idea. He couldn't use the fist climbing move again but he could do something similar.

Naruto started to do the punch climbing strategy again but Kegawa saw this. "Not this time" Kegawa said as he stopped and block from above. His eyes widened as he saw Naruto stop before he even gotten higher and suddenly got kick to stomach sending the amanto back.

As Kegawa was sent back from the attack Naruto came in with his bokuto and started to swing left and right hitting the Inuisei amanto with powerful strikes.

" _Man this kid…If I didn't know any better I would have called him a Amanto_ " Kegawa thought. " _But he is 100% pure human!_ "

Naruto pulled his bokuto back and went for a stab hitting Kegawa's stomach and started to run while pushing Kegawa into a building. Kegawa coughed up a little blood. "Your good kid" The amanto said.

Nobume just watched on as Kegawa got up from being slammed into the wall. Naruto and Kegawa stared into each other's eyes neither showing a desire to surrender but to win.

Both had the eyes of a warrior.

Kegawa wiped his arm over is mouth wiping the blood off. "You managed to make me bleed with a bokuto no less" He said.

Naruto gripped his bokuto. "I'm just getting started" Was Naruto's reply.

Kegawa laughed. "I must agree with those words"

Naruto laughed as well. "It seems neither of us is going to give up easily" Naruto then looked towards the direction of the construction site. "But I have no time to waste here with you"

Kegawa took a fighting stance as Naruto took the offensive. Kegawa blocked the bokuto swings and threw in some kicks as Naruto tried to counter with his own.

Kegawa got some good hits on Naruto and both knew that they could fight for days so they had to finish each other quickly. Kegawa punched Naruto in the stomach and Naruto swung the bokuto upwards hitting Kegawa's chin.

Both stumbled back a bit and the charged in. Kegawa dodged a swing from Naruto and grabbed his head and spun around throwing him into a wall. Naruto coughed up a small amount of blood and wiped it off while picking his bokuto up.

Kegawa appeared before Naruto and punched him into the wall causing Naruto to drop his bokuto again.

"Heh you are strong for a human" Kegawa said. "If I didn't know better I would of called you a member of the Yato Tribe" The Inuisei said while holding Naruto up of the ground with a hand around his neck.

"Now it's time for you…" The amanto started.

"To die" Naruto finished. "What a clichéd line" Naruto laughed.

"What's so funny?"

"I have no intention of dying right now" Naruto then grinned. "You shouldn't have left your guard left open!"

Kegawa's eyes widened as he was kicked not in the stomach but in his balls. Kegawa released Naruto as he held his balls. "T-that was a cheap move" Kegawa whined.

"It worked didn't it?" Naruto asked grabbing his bokuto. "Nobume lets go, were done here"

Kegawa stood up. "Not so fast. You think that's it?" The Inuisei asked growling. He then got into a pouncing stance as he dragged his claws along the ground and walls making his claws look sharpened.

"I got enough strength to continue on" He barked. "I'm going to hit you with everything I got!"

"Placing all your strength into one attack? Then I'll do that to!" Naruto shouted placing his bokuto away and went into a quick draw style iaido.

Kegawa and Naruto remained still for what seemed like minutes until they both shot off towards each other.

The two warriors both passed each other as they were now standing behind each other. Naruto's bokuto facing towards the right where he slashed and Kegawa's hands were in a cross as he went for an X shaped slash.

Nobume was worried for her doughnut making friend. She saw Naruto wobbled a little and yelled "NARUTO!"

 **Parody List**

 _ **Chapter 5**_

PaRappa the Rapper 2 – Foods being turned into Noodles Arc

Pokemon – I Choose You!

Naruto – Acting like Killer Bee

FieryFoxPaws – Special Guest

Poll – A poll that took place

Bonus – A small section that was edited in after posting the chapter and seeing that 2 others had voted.


	7. Chapter 7

**Orange Monster of Kabuki**

 _ **Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Gintama**_

Chapter 7

"NARUTO!" Nobume yelled as she saw Naruto wobble a little before bracing himself. Kegawa on the other hand fell onto the ground.

Naruto turned his head to face Kegawa. "Hehe looks like I win, Kegawa" He grinned at the Inuisei.

Kegawa moved his head slowly to where he could see Naruto. "I suppose you did" Kegawa chuckled. "It seems you won your bet"

"I never once lost a bet in my life" Naruto said.

Nobume ran over to Naruto and hugged him which surprised him. The only side he had seen of Nobume was when they were making donuts. "You worried me"

"Sorry" Naruto said as Nobume let go and had her impassive look as usual. Naruto turned to Kegawa and approached him helping the amanto up. "So what are you going to do now?"

"Probably stay a mercenary like you said and avoid people like Masashige"

Nobume wasn't convinced by Kegawa's words. "How can we trust you?" She asked as Naruto answered.

"There is one thing about the Inuisei, they are loyal to their words" Naruto told Nobume. Kegawa nodded in agreement.

Naruto then got an idea. "Hey why don't you join me?" Naruto asked. "Or the Mimawarigumi?"

"But isn't the Mimawarigumi only humans though?" Kegawa asked.

"It is" Naruto said. "But we need more multiculturalism"

"You're a weird one" Kegawa said. "What's your name?"

"Naruto, Naruto Sakata"

"It was nice meeting you Naruto" Kegawa waved as he walked off. "I hope I'll see you again"

Naruto nodded and turned to Nobume. "Ready?" He asked and she nodded.

 _Masashige_

"So the brat managed to defeat Kegawa" Masashige said as he turned to a figure in the room with him. "It's your turn"

The figure nodded and seemingly disappeared from the room. Masashige laughed "Let's see how you do against this one"

 _Naruto and Nobume_

Naruto and Nobume were getting close to the construction site and it was already sunset. "We better hurry" Naruto said as they ran.

"Seems someone is eager to die" A voice called out. Naruto and Nobume turned around to see a human wearing a straw hat worn by samurai that covered the top of his face, a katana at his waist and traditional samurai clothing.

Nobume stepped forward. "I'll fight this one" Naruto nodded.

"May I have the name of my opponent?" The samurai asked.

"Nobume"

"Well my name is Ujisato"

Ujisato brought out his katana as did Nobume. Naruto turned his head to see Masashige's thugs appear out of an alleyway. Naruto brought his katana out when he got it back from Nobume.

"I'll take care of these thugs alright" Naruto said as Nobume focused on her opponent.

"I can't believe them" Ujisato said. "I wanted a fair honourable fight"

Naruto then went for the thugs slashing them down. They were quite pathetic with a blade. Nobume and Ujisato's katanas clashed.

"You're quite strong" Ujisato said. Ujisato and Nobume's swords clashed slash after slash, blow after blow. Ujisato swung his katana to the side as Nobume blocked and swung cutting Ujisato's sleeve.

Naruto was going through the thugs quite easily even though the thugs had numbers it didn't matter as Naruto was cutting them down. Naruto jumped up and landed on one of the thugs' head and jumped to another with a few of the thugs trying to kill him but ended up killing their own.

They were idiots to. Naruto landed in front of one guy who went to slash as another behind him also went for a swing. Naruto ducked allowing both thugs to slash each other's throat and falling down dead.

Nobume swung her sharp blade cutting a steel pole that feel down in the direction of Ujisato. Ujisato dodged out of the way of the pole and started to roll dodging Nobume's stabs at the ground. Ujisato stopped rolling and used his blade to stop a stab and then kicked Nobume off him.

Ujisato got up and ran at the stunned Nobume and went for a downwards slash but Nobume turned to her side dodging the attack. Nobume used the handle of her sword to hit Ujisato in the face sending the swordsman back.

Ujisato swung his sword as soon as he was knocked back but missed. Nobume used this opening to possibly end the fight there and then but as she swung Ujisato made himself fall back. Luckily for Nobume she managed to cut his skin.

Ujisato looked at his side and the small cut on it. "Hmm you are good" Ujisato said as he tilted his straw hat down.

Naruto brought his sword up and slashed the throat of one of the thugs before turning around quickly to slash the thug behind him. The thugs then circled around him and then charged him, Naruto then spun around in a circle using his sword to cut the thugs around him.

Naruto looked around him, the thugs numbers were dying down. A shame really he was getting into it. Naruto brought his sword up and then slashed behind him killing a thug who tried sneaking up on him.

Ujisato did an upwards slash with his sword as Nobume did a downwards slash and the blades clashed. Ujisato did a stab as Nobume blocked with the side of her katana. Her katana then went down along Ujisato's katana sharpening her own blade and then it cut Ujisato's eye.

Naruto had just finished killed all the thugs and started to clean of the blood his orange coloured blade. He then went to watch Nobume and just witnessed Nobume cut Ujisato's eye.

Naruto put his katana away and was ready to jump in to aid Nobume in a moment's notice. Naruto then noticed the Ouroboros mark on the back of his clothes.

"You managed to take my eye" Ujisato said. "I never had an eye taken from me before… you should feel proud to injury the right hand man of Masashige"

"Need you need to die" Nobume said as she then used her foot to kick one of Ujisato's foot of the ground. Ujisato was falling to the ground Nobume swung her katana cutting off Ujisato's hand that held the sword.

"Are you going to kill me now?" Ujisato asked Nobume who held the sword above Ujisato's throat and Naruto walked over stepping on Ujisato's free hand.

"It's…odd… you say you are the right hand man yet unlike the thugs… you have no eyes of a murderer" Nobume said confused.

"And you have the mark of Ouroboros on you…" Naruto added. "Nobume pull out the lights"

Nobume pulled two lights out of her pocket, one blue and one green, throwing the blue light over at the bodies and the green one on Ujisato.

"We will let any evidence decided" Nobume said walking away.

Naruto looked down at Ujisato. "Hey if you live why don't you join the Mimawarigumi or something else?"

Ujisato looked at Naruto. "Hmm maybe but I have a feeling I'll die either way"

"Then… let's make a bet" Naruto said. "I bet you that you will live. If you die I lose and if live I win and you'll have to join Mimawarigumi or something" Naruto then walked away.

Ujisato blinked. "Maybe I'll take your bet"

Naruto caught up to Nobume as they were at the construction site and it was already night and Nobume was explain the green light. "The green light is used for if someone is alive" She said as she held up a red one. "Red is an important one dead or alive"

"How do they find it?"

"Transmitter"

"I see" Naruto said as they started to climb the abandon building going up a few floors. Meanwhile Nobume was deep in thought.

" _Why did I choose to spare him?_ " Nobume thought. " _Is it Naruto? Am I doing this for him?_ "

After getting to the seventh floor they met him.

"Kegawa and Ujisato failed" Masashige said. "Now I have to fight a pair of brats"

"You are sentenced with death for your crimes"

"Crimes?" Masashige said. "They told you they were crimes? I'm a hero to my people!"

"What are you talking about it?" Naruto asked. "You killed your comrades on the battlefield!"

"Comrades? No..no,no,no" Masashige said. "Those 'comrades' were traitors that swapped sides! They wanted to kill both sides! I killed them before they had a chance to kill us, I was given THE ORDER TO!"

Naruto and Nobume stopped in their tracks. "O-order" Naruto said as he looked at his hands. Did that mean that his loyal followers were also those who knew of the truth! Did he kill people who could tell the truth of what happened on the battlefield?

Masashige pulled out his sword and suddenly dashed towards Naruto. Nobume blocked his strike and Naruto pulled out his bokuto and whacked the Shinra in the head.

Naruto steeled himself. "No" He said to himself. If they knew of what happened they would of said something to the public and from what he learnt over the years of the Joui War no amanto ever contacted the humans which meant. "You're lying"

Masashige had a bloodthirsty look on his face and swung his sword towards Naruto who rolled out of the way and Nobume went for a slash but was blocked.

Both Naruto and Nobume went in for at the same time and Masashige managed to block each attack. Naruto went for a kick of his leg but Masashige sent his own leg up to counter Naruto. Nobume used this to kick his other leg and Masashige pushed Naruto away with his foot and went to swing at Nobume when suddenly Nobume found herself on the floor. Looking up she saw Naruto above her.

"Phew that was close" Naruto said as he back into the fight and so did Nobume.

Naruto found himself on the defensive as Masashige was pushing him towards the edge. Luckily for him Nobume got his attention and then he grabbed her wrist and in a single motion threw her to the edge.

Nobume closed her eyes only to see Naruto holding onto her arm. Naruto gave her a look that indicated a plan and she nodded. Naruto swung his arm sending Nobume flying towards Masahige who blocked the attacks from Nobume.

"You brats are good" Masashige said.

Naruto then came around and swung his bokuto into the side of Masashige. The Shinra then punched Naruto in the face sending him back and turned to Nobume and started to swing his sword trying to kill Nobume who dodged the strikes.

Naruto then saw the Shinra stop his attacks and turned back to him and kicked him through a wooden pallet and into a scaffold causing the contents onto of it landing on Naruto.

Masashige turned back to Nobume who looked like she wanted to go help Naruto but knew he would be fine. Masashige went for a stab and Nobume blocked and started to jump to the side. Masashige placed his sword into the ground and grabbed Nobume who tried to jumping to the side when he pulled a sucker punch.

Masashige then slammed her into a wall. Naruto saw this and got out of the rumble that fell off him, he witnessed Masashige slam Nobume into the wall a few times and Masashige froze.

Releasing Nobume he saw an angry Naruto with an orange aura around him. " _W-what is this_ " Masashige thought as he walked over to his sword and went to pull it out. When he was about to he felt something connect to the right side of his face.

Masashige managed to get his sword and started to be defensive as Naruto went attack after attack. Holding up his sword to block a downwards strike Masashige's eyes widened as Naruto's bokuto broke his sword.

" _W-what is he!_ " Masashige thought.

Naruto hit him towards the edge and Masashige's eyes widened. "N-no, don't do it!" He pleaded as Naruto ignored him and did a powerful forward jab sending Masashige off the building.

Masashige fell of the building and he looked to see rebar and a good amount of them. Masashige then hit the rebar and being impaled by the rebar and died.

Naruto after witnessing Masashige's death went over to Nobume. "Nobume!" Naruto yelled. "Are you okay?"

Nobume nodded and Naruto helped her up by picking her up bridal style. Naruto got the red light and threw it down towards Masashige's corpse.

Nobume blushed as she stayed in Naruto arms as he walked down carrying her all the way. Naruto then walked with Nobume still in his arms when he saw lights coming towards them.

"Naruto-san, Nobume good work" Isaburo said as he exited one of the cars. "The clean-up crew took care of everything… is there something I'm missing" He said taking noticed of who was in Naruto's arms.

"No" They both said in unison.

"Ah okay" Isaburo said as he looked at the body of Masashige. "I see you killed him. I must congratulate you on this victory, both of you"

Naruto and Nobume got into a car along with Isaburo. "You will be paid a reasonable fee" Isaburo said. Naruto and Nobume sat in the car while Nobume tried to avoid looking at Naruto but ended up looking at Naruto and turning when he looked at her.

Naruto was driven home after his job for Mimawarigumi and wondered what the next day would bring as he fell asleep with Nobume already asleep on his shoulder unware of a person in the car had a small smirk at getting blackmail.


	8. Chapter 8

**Orange Monster of Kabuki**

 _ **Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Gintama**_

Chapter 8

It was a nice sunny day in the Kabuki district, Shinpachi Shimura was walking up the stairs to the Yorozuya's 'office'.

Shinpachi opened the door and went into shock, much like that picture the scream. "WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?" He yelled looking at the two in the building.

Gintoki and Naruto both had long beards, the same colour as their hair. Gintoki looked at Shinpachi and waved at him.

"Shinpachi" Gintoki said in an old voice. "You look so young!"

"YOU BOTH LOOK SO OLD!" Shinpachi yelled at them. "WHAT HAPPENED?"

"What did he say?" Gintoki asked Naruto.

"I have no idea" Naruto replied. "Probably rubbing his youth in our faces"

"I AM NOT DOING SUCH A THING!"

"That bastard rubbing his enteral youth in our faces" Gintoki croaked out with his old voice. "I shall we should discipline him!"

"I AM NOT RUBBING IT IN" Glasses yelled. "ARE YOU BOTH SENILE?"

"Did you hear that?" Naruto said with his own old voice. "He called us senile!"

"OI YOU CAN HEAR ME FINE!"

"That's it we shall sacrifice him to the old gods and the new!" Gintoki yelled.

"YOU BOTH HAVE SELECTIVE HEARING!" Shinpachi yelled at them.

"Shut up Shinpachi!" They both yelled.

Shinpachi's eye twitched before he noticed the two sake cups and sake. "What's going on?" Shinpachi asked. "And why are you both so old?"

"Well Danzo it all started when the author started more stories" Naruto said.

"Eh?"

Gintoki then continued the story. "You see with have been here for 71 Days"

"71 DAYS!" Shinpachi yelled. "But only a day has passed!"

Naruto nodded. "A day has passed here but outside in the 'real world' many, many days have passed"

"Why did you say the 'real world' in a way that makes it sound false" Shinpachi said. "And why do you two have the break the fourth wall while blaming the author?"

"Ah young Shinpachi, so naïve and innocent" Gintoki said as he poured the sake into the two cups.

"So you have been counting the days since till this chapter?" Shinpachi asked.

"Yes" The said in unison.

"The author decided to get a few more ideas out and in the end we haven't been updated for 71 Days… until now of course" Naruto told the Shimura.

Gintoki nodded. "Yes, stories like Naruto here being released being a demi-god of demi-titan here taking away the author from us!"

"It's unfair!" Naruto yelled. "We deserve more chapters!"

"You are in enough stories!" Gintoki yelled at Naruto.

"But those are not me! They are alternate versions of me!" Naruto told his brother.

"Oh, I guess you have a point there" Gintoki said stroking his beard.

Shinpachi stared at the two. "Are you fine now?"

"No!" Gintoki yelled. "Do you know we might be uploaded at the same time as another story? The author would probably do it to spite us!"

"Do you know which one?" Shinpachi asked.

"Probably Loveless or Son of Rhea, or something to do with his whiskers here and those Olympians" Gin said. "I'm still waiting for the lemons!"

"Gin, the author is thinking about doing some lemons" Naruto told the lazy samurai.

"We might be getting lemons?" Gin asked as Naruto nodded. "You mean to tell me the poll the author placed up without telling anyone about if they wanted lemons is currently in the lead by a large mile, will be closed soon and we will get lemons?"

"Yes, but not us"

"Eh? Why not" Gin asked

"We are rated T for Teen" Naruto said. "Lemons are usually rated M or in M rated fanfiction"

"Teens know about sex!" Gin yelled. "It's not a foreign concept to them!"

"Rated M" Naruto said in a singsong voice.

"Do you know the statistics of teenage pregnancy?" Gin asked the blonde.

"Not really, don't care" Naruto said.

"The rate of teens having sex and getting pregnant is…" Gin was then interrupted.

"Hmm you're still talking about it?" Naruto cut Gin off.

"Don't cut me off mid-sentence!" Gin yelled.

"Then get to the point!"

"The point is teens know about sex!"

Shinpachi looked between the two before coughing into his hand. "Are you two done?" He asked as the two glanced at each other before nodding.

"Can you explain the cups?"

Naruto and Gin took off their fake beards and threw them away magically disappearing. "We are celebrating Naruto's first serious chapters" Gin told Shinpachi as he took a drink from the cup of sake.

Naruto also took a sip from the cup. "It was weird being serious for two chapters straight" Naruto said as Gin patted his back.

"You'll get used to it" The silver permed samurai said.

"Serious chapters, what about the Yagyu Arc" Shinpachi asked. "He was in it!"

"That wasn't too serious" Gintoki said. "It was a canon chapter from the original source, aka us, to introduce Naruto, who was already introduced, to other characters"

"Those were good times" Naruto said as he reminisced about that chapter.

"Good times?" Shinpachi asked. "YOU LITERALLY KILLED ONE OF THEM BY GOOMBA STOMPING THEM!"

"He is still alive and well Shinpachi" Naruto said waving his hand. "He is perfectly fine"

"Uh huh" Shinpachi said looking at Naruto with a non-believing stare.

Naruto took another sip from his cup. "He is alive, trust me"

"Since it's only the two of us" Gintoki said speaking about him and Naruto.

"Oi, I'm here too!" Shinpachi said.

"We better get some more people" Gin said as Naruto thought about it.

"I guess so…" Naruto said. "But that means there would be less for us?"

"Hmm that is true" Gin replied. "But how are we going fill out the chapter?"

"Want to do a reading/watching?" Naruto asked holding up a TV and a book, where he got them no one knows!

"Where did you get those from?" Shinpachi asked.

"Magic" Was the only word Naruto said.

Gintoki pressed the power button as the screen lit up showing Naruto and Gintoki looking at the screen, looking at the screen with Naruto and Gintoki looking at the screen, the screen on the screen kept showing them looking at a screen.

Naruto and Gin looked at each other and the multiple Naruto and Gin's mimicked their actions. They both turned to face you and so did the ones on the screen before they looked back at the TV.

"This isn't working" Naruto said as Gin nodded and turned the TV off. "Well the watching do to well… let's try the reading"

Gin opened the book. " **It was a nice sunny day in the Kabuki district, Shinpachi Shimura was walking up the stairs to the Yorozuya's 'office'.** "

"Eh that's sounds very familiar" Gin said as Naruto nodded.

" **Shinpachi opened the door and went into shock, much like that picture the scream. "WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?" He yelled looking at the two in the building.** "

"Wait a minute!" Shinpachi yelled. "That just happened!"

"We are reading this chapter?" Naruto asked as Gin nodded.

 **Gintoki and Naruto both had long beards, the same colour as their hair. Gintoki looked at Shinpachi and waved at him.**

"Bored now" The Sakata's said in unison as they flipped the page.

" **Good times?" Shinpachi asked. "YOU LITERALLY KILLED ONE OF THEM BY GOOMBA STOMPING THEM!"**

Naruto and Gintoki laughed. "Those were good times" Naruto said.

"Indeed they were" Gin said.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TWO DOING? YOU CAN'T JUST SKIP A FEW LINES BECAUSE YOUR BORED!" Shinpachi yelled. "THIS IS NOT A READING! IT'S MORE OF A SKIM OVER!"

" **WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TWO DOING? YOU CAN'T JUST SKIP A FEW LINES BECAUSE YOUR BORED!" Shinpachi yelled. "THIS IS NOT A READING! IT'S MORE OF A SKIM OVER!"**

"DON'T JUST KEEP SKIPPING THROUGH!" Shinpachi yelled. "NOW IT'S RIGHT NOW!"

Naruto and Gin's eyes widened and turned to each other. "Y-You don't think…" Gin started.

"W-we can use it to…" Naruto continued.

"READ THE FUTURE!" They both said in unison as Shinpachi's eye twitched.

"Let's that a look" The lazy bum said as he flipped multiple pages.

 **It was a cold raining day as Shinpachi walked through the rain.**

"Eh? Why am I walking in the rain without any umbrella?" Shinpachi asked as Gin and Naruto told him to be quiet.

 **It was a very weird day for the glasses wearing boy, he decided to meet Gin-san and his younger adopted brother Naruto. However when he walked in apparently 71 Days has passed in that room.**

"It is true" Gin said. "71 days have passed"

 **Even though it had only been one day to everyone else, something about the author being busy with other stories.**

"That was really rude of the author" Naruto said. "We deserve to be updated"

 **Then they talked about lemons and a poll that wasn't told to anyone, just people who went onto the profile saw it.**

"Author-san really needs to tell people about it" Shinpachi said.

Naruto sweat dropped. "Uh Shinpachi, they would have already known…"

 **Gintoki and Naruto were apparently celebrating Naruto's first serious chapters that weren't canon but original or something.**

"And I am proud" Gin said patting his brother's back.

 **They watched a TV that showed Naruto and Gin watching the TV, watching the TV, watching the TV. It was weird, and then out of nothing they started to read about the day!**

"That is weird" Shinpachi said. "I understand if it is of the future but of the present? That's weird to me"

"You ARE weird Shinpachi" Naruto said.

 **At first they read the start of the day before they got bored and skipped to the present, when they were reading, before saying "Let's see the future" and reading the future, which was what Shinpachi was doing now.**

"Hmm, you better get walking Shinpachi" Gin said.

 **Shinpachi swore they had money symbols in their eyes when they decided to read the future.**

Naruto and Gin gained money symbols in their eyes. "Let's make money with reading the future!" The said in unison as they closed the book.

Suddenly a boom of thunder was heard as the Sakata siblings frowned, they couldn't make a fortune in this weather!

Shinpachi looked at the clock and got up. "I gotta go" He said as rain started pouring down and it got really cold as he left the building.

"It's happening now isn't it?" Naruto asked as Gin nodded.

Gin raised his cup. "A toast for tomorrow's future fortune" He said as their two glasses clinked against each other.

It was a cold raining day as Shinpachi walked through the rain. It was a very weird day for the glasses wearing boy, he decided to meet Gin-san and his younger adopted brother Naruto. However when he walked in, apparently 71 Days has passed in that room.

Even though it had only been one day to everyone else, something about the author being busy with other stories.

Then they talked about lemons and a poll that wasn't told to anyone, just people who went onto the profile saw it.

Gintoki and Naruto were apparently celebrating Naruto's first serious chapters that weren't canon but original or something. They watched a TV that showed Naruto and Gin watching the TV, watching the TV, watching the TV. It was weird, and then out of nothing they started to read about the day!

At first they read the start of the day before they got bored and skipped to the present, when they were reading, before saying "Let's see the future" and reading the future, which was what Shinpachi was doing now. Shinpachi swore they had money symbols in their eyes when they decided to read the future.

"Wait a minute, I don't recall anything after this part in the book" Shinpachi said. "They closed the book here!"

Shinpachi looked around. "Something is telling me something bad is going to happen" Shinpachi kept his guard up.

I mean why would it go to his point of view right? "They would focus on me" Shinpachi agreed, this was a crossover, not a detailed day to day life of every single body in the show!

Shinpachi turned to keep walking as he looked around and saw a large white dog walking, no let me correct that, running towards him!

"Sadaharu!" Shinpachi yelled as he was then trampled by the large dog.

"Sorry Shin-chan!" Kagura yelled.

Shinpachi was left on the ground looking up at the sky while it rained, he was covered in mud. It looked like he died or was defeated in an epic battle. Sadly everyone would know the truth of his 'defeat' and laugh at him. Hell if anyone saw him or walked by they would ignore, laugh or walk over him.

Naruto looked over the balcony to see Shinpachi on the ground staring at the sky. "You got him good Kagura-chan, Sadaharu" Naruto said as he patted the large inugami's head.

"Let's go inside" Naruto said as they walked inside. "I'll get Shinpachi"

Naruto then dragged Shinpachi back inside, and the chapter was finally over.


	9. Chapter 9

**Orange Monster of Kabuki**

 _ **Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Gintama**_

Chapter 9

Naruto was currently lying on his side reading manga, what else would he read? A book about a group of kids that are actually demigods, don't be crazy.

"Holy shit so Utsuro is actually…" Naruto stopped as he heard someone entered the building. He quickly pocketed the manga away as the sliding door was quickly opened by Gintoki.

"Oh it's just you" Naruto said lazily.

"Oi, what do you mean by 'it's just you' you sound like you were waiting for someone else!" Gintoki shouted at him. "Why are you lying down like that?"

"Who knows when a hot attractive young naked woman would walk in" Naruto said as he yawned. "But I just get you, what a drag"

"Wait a minute" Gintoki said as he noticed something. "I know that pose!"

"What do you mean Gin-nii?"

"Whenever you read manga, you lay like that!"

"Reading manga? Nope not me"

"Don't lie to me!"

"Anyways what crawled up your ass and started a colony"

"Oi, nothing crawled up my ass!" Gintoki shouted as he pointed directly at him. "And who the hell says that?"

Naruto then picked his ear with his pinky finger. "Why are you yelling?"

"Because…" Gintoki stared at him for what seemed like ages before telling Naruto what had disturbed and horrified him so greatly. "We need to make a chapter before my ***** gets cut"

"I'm sorry, what gets cut?"

"My *****" Gin said in horror.

"Gin-nii, I can't understand what you're saying" Naruto told him.

"What do you mean you can't understand what I'm trying to say?"

"Exactly what it sounds like nii-san" Naruto said as he sat up properly. "Whenever you are trying to say what gets cut it turns into five asterisks"

"Like this, *****?"

"Yes, exactly like that"

"Hmm how can I tell you so you can understand?"

"Maybe add a letter?" Naruto suggested. "Like change the first asterisk into the letter of the word?"

"Good idea" Gintoki said. "P****"

"I understand now"

"You do!"

"Your paper is going to get cut" After Naruto said that Gin's face made contact with the ground.

"Why would you come to that conclusion?" Gin asked. "Why would I be worried about paper being cut?"

"Maybe you had something important on it?"

"It's not paper!"

"Then what is it?"

It's my p****!" Gin shouted loudly.

Naruto just looked at him lazily as his face turned serious. "I see" He said seriously. "We cannot allow your palms to get cut"

"No!" Gin shouted. "It's not my palms! It's something more important to me as a man!"

Naruto gasped "Your panda?"

"No!"

"It would be pretty serious if your pants get cut"

"It's not that either!" Gintoki said. "But I can understand that one"

"So you're worried over your pasta being cut?"

"No, I'm worried over my p****!" Gintoki said as his last word was bleeped out.

"I see" Naruto said. "It would be a pain if your p**** was cut off"

"NO! Wait, you understood that time?"

"Of course I did"

"Oi, were you messing with me this whole time? Oi don't ignore me!"

"If you're wondering why it was changed to ***** then that's because that was a naughty no, no word" Naruto said waving his finger back and forth. "And that's no good"

"Wait a word I cannot use?" Gin asked as he finally sat down.

Naruto crossed his arms as he nodded. "That is right" He said. "We are rated T and you said something that falls under the M rated category"

"So they use replace my words with asterisks?"

"That's right"

"I thought we discussed this last chapter!" Gin said. "Saying one word is a lot better than a whole lemon! Besides even though the poll for a lemon was over for ages there is still no lemon!"

"Actually Gintoki-nii, the author has actually written a lemon" Naruto informed the lazy samurai.

"Wait really?"

Naruto nodded. "Yep but the chapter with the lemon won't come out until the rest of the chapter is done" Naruto said as he was in front of a TV holding a controller for a QS3 as he started playing a game. "It was or is the authors first lemon, so it might not be good"

Gintoki grabbed Naruto and started to shake him. "You, it's you isn't it!" Gin shook Naruto furiously as Naruto stilled played the game. "You're in the author's first lemon!"

"I might be" Naruto said. "But me and that me are still two very different people"

Gin stopped shaking Naruto before asking a very important question. "Hey is it fine to tell them that there is a lemon coming?"

"It's fine" Naruto waved him off. "They don't know what story it is so it's fine"

"So that will make them look through the other stories for the lemon that would come out next?"

"Of course not" The blonde said confidently. "Okay maybe"

"Do you know which story it is?"

"Yep" Naruto said.

"What is it?"

"Not telling"

"WHY?" Gintoki shouted. 

"Because I feel like it" Naruto shouted back. "Now 'moving on' with the chapter, why is your ***** getting cut off?"

"Well the author was got slapped and if he didn't upload another chapter than his ***** will get cut off and because of that, he threatened if his goes then mines goes!"

"And this involves me how?" Naruto asked.

"I needed a chapter to save my manhood!"

"So does that mean the author is also a male?" Naruto asked. "I mean it doesn't say what gender the author is"

"For the name it says the author has many names so I assume the author can assume multiple different forms as well"

"I see like how the author was a mystical voice, a non-existent invisible figure and text?"

"Most likely" Gin said. "Did you just drop a hint earlier?"

"What hint?"

"A hint to the story that has the lemon that will come out or is out depending on when they read this chapter?"

"You're thinking too hard" Naruto said. "Moving On"

Gin's eyes twitched. Gin was about to say something until he was hit with a Rasengan and sent flying across the room.

"What the hell!" Gin yelled. "Why did you hit me? I thought you didn't unlock your chakra!"

"It's just a game Gin" Naruto said as he pressed buttons on the QS3 controller. Naruto was playing as himself against Gin with Kagura and Sadaharu as his support while Gin had some guy called Ryotsu, whoever that was, and of course the voice of glasses.

"Why are you playing that game?" Gin asked as he watched his game counterpart get tossed around by a virtual Kagura and Sadaharu, well it was all Sadaharu as Kagura was just riding the dog like a horse.

"Want to fight?" Naruto asked as he handed Gintoki a second QS3 controller. Gintoki took the controller and they chose their characters. Naruto was playing as Gintoki and Gintoki was playing as Naruto.

It was weird, as they were playing against each other a few times they decided to talk about the rest of this chapter. "Can't we just upload it from this point back?"

"No, we need to reach the normal limit like the other chapters or go pass the limit" Naruto told the older samurai. "The limit is whatever the author feels like"

"I see" Gin said. "So how are we going to feel the rest of the chapter out? I presume we just can't keep playing a fighting game for the rest of the chapter"

"Your right" Naruto said before they stopped playing. "We need something to fill out the rest of the chapter!"

"I JUST SAID THAT!" Gin shouted.

"I DON'T GIVE A SHIT!" Naruto replied.

"There's got to be something we can do… or you can do"

"WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY?" Naruto shouted at the samurai. "ARE YOU TRYING TO GET OUT OF THIS?"

"….No…."

"Liar, liar pants on fire!"

"My pants aren't on fire"

"Do you want them to be?"

"OF COURSE NOT"

"THEN DON'T DITCH ME WITH SOMETHING THAT YOU HAVE TO DO!"

"The story is more focused on you though" Gintoki said as Naruto just sighed.

"So we are stuck together huh"

"Seems like it"

Suddenly the plot arrived. "Well that's convenient" Naruto said as Kagura and Sadaharu walked in.

"Gin-chan" Kagura said as she entered the room.

Gin turned to see the Yato girl and the Inugami. "What's wrong Kagura?"

"The Bentendo OwEe is out!" Both the Sakata's head turned to her so quickly you might have thought they broke their necks.

Good thing they're main characters huh.

"Are you being serious?" Gin asked as she nodded before snapping his head over to Naruto. "Do you have the money?"

Naruto nodded holding up a bunch of dollar bills. "Then let's go" Gin said.

A lot of people were lining up for the Bentendo OwEe and it was now night, thankfully Shinpachi was there saving them a spot. What a nice guy.

Smoking was in the air as the Yorozuya started a fire. "Um, we prefer that you not build fires" One of the Bentendo employees said. "It is distracting the other customers"

Gintoki then started to give Kagura food until Naruto noticed something in the distance. " _Is that…Nobume-chan?_ " He looked to see Nobume behind a street light peeking out. " _Is…is she stalking me?_ "

He then saw her wave, and he slowly waved back. "Hey Naruto, do you want some?" Gin asked as Naruto saw the 'food' Gin prepared and saw Kagura eating it.

"Uh, no I'm good for now" Naruto said.

"Ah well your lose" Gin said as he started to eat it.

Naruto looked back to them and noticed that she was gone. " _Where the hell did she disappear to?_ " He thought as she disappeared into thin air. " _How can someone disappear so quickly?_ "

As he stared at Nobume was at an emotionless face was staring over his shoulder. She looked down at him before poking him causing him to jump slightly.

He turned around to face her as both their faces were inches apart. "N-Nobume, what are you doing here?"

"I'm hungry"

"If you're hungry then go get something to eat!"

"Make me donuts" She ordered, it was a real wonder that no one seemed to notice the two talking, not even Gintoki and the rest of the Yorozuya.

"I can't make you donuts right now" He whispered to her. "Go to a donut shop or something"

"The shops are closed" Damn she was not going to leave him was she?

"I'll make your donuts later" He told her. "I'm waiting for something right now"

Nobume then looked over to the building. "You're waiting for that?" She asked as she saw the Orange Monster slowly nodded.

Nobume then stood up and his eyes widened comically as he heard explosions and people screaming in pain. She walked back over to Naruto holding an OwEe. "I got it, now donuts"

Naruto sweat dropped at her, she really wanted those donuts. "Okay fine" Naruto said. "I'll make donuts" He sighed as he stood up and left with Nobume as she held the box.

" _Here I thought that I will be able to join in with Gin on this arc but in the end the rest of the chapter is left to me_ " He thought. " _On the bright side though, I didn't spend any money_ "

Naruto and Nobume ended up at Otose Snack. "Donuts"

"I get it Nobume-chan, just stop it!"

"…"

"…"

"…Donuts"

"STOP IT!" Naruto shouted. "Stop saying donuts or no donuts" That got her to stay quiet as Naruto placed the OwEe down next to the QS3 and the ZBox.

Naruto then started to make donuts for Nobume who just watched over his shoulder. She continued to watch with an expressionless face before she rested her chin on her shoulder.

Nobume stay like that as he made donuts for her with Naruto thinking of finally being able to do some serious arcs for a change.

Yet Nobume didn't move, not even when her donuts were done. She just stayed there, on his shoulder. "Hey Nobume, can you move? Please?" Naruto asked as she moved her eyes over to him.

"No"

"What do you mean no!"

"Simple, no" Nobume said not moving an inch. "It's comfortable"

"So I'm just a replacement for a chin rest?" He asked.

"Not really"

"WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN!" He shouted not liking that answer, it was like he was but wasn't at the same time.

"Feed me" She suddenly said.

"Huh?"

"Feed me" She ordered.

Naruto just picked up the donut and let her eat it. "Why are you making me feed you?"

"Because I felt like it" She told the blonde. "Remember when I visited you?"

Naruto sweat dropped as he remembered. "You mean when you were at the window?"

"Well you said that was something friends do but I did it in a way that was more like two people dating" Nobume eyes looked towards Naruto before taking a bite from a donut Naruto was going to eat. "Does this also count as two people dating?"

Naruto blushed and stuttered. "W-Where did t-this come f-from?" He asked as she only shrugged. "Well… I guess this counts as that"

Nobume had a tiny small before she ate the rest of his donut causing Naruto silently weep. He had yet to eat a single donut.

"Does that mean since we have done those, we are a couple?"

"I don't think it works like that Nobume" Naruto said.

"Then how does it work?"

"I'm not exactly the best person to ask" Naruto said as she just looked at him.

"Are you sure?"

"I'm pretty sure"

Nobume stayed quiet for a while as she looked down at the ground before looking back at him. "Then this makes us a couple"

"WHAT GOT YOU TO THAT CONCLUSION?"

"You said you don't know and I don't know, so I made it" She said.

"You just can't say that you made it and how did you come to that?"

"I went by what I thought"

Naruto looked over to see her having a small smile, great he was about to tell her otherwise but seeing that smile, which was very rare to see on her, he didn't know what to say to her.

When he did decide what he was going to say Nobume surprised him by wrapping her arms around his neck. "Bye" She said emotionlessly but Naruto could hear that she was happy.

She then left as Naruto just looked where she left as Sadaharu walked in. "What the hell happened?"

Sadaharu tilted his head as Naruto patted the Inugami. Naruto looked down at the Inugami. "Want some chow?" Sadaharu barked as Naruto went to give the inugami some food and the large dog followed him.

 **Parody List**

 _ **Chapter 8**_

Danzo – Calling Shinpachi Danzo as they share the same last name

Lemons and T and M Ratings – Talking about T

Other Stories – A story that was uploaded at the same time as the chapter

71 Days – Yes I counted

Reading Parody – From what a few reading stories but going a little further

Space Balls – The TV scene where Gintoki and Naruto watch the TV and see themselves


End file.
